As of now, I am in control here, in the White House

Tag Archives: Satire

Top Ten Things Nobody Knew Trump Was Responsible for

In recent days, I’ve read that President Trump is responsible for the disappearance of Saudi critic Jamal Khashoggi because of the president’s support for Saudi Arabia’s leader Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman. Today, Politico informs us that Trump is causing a spike in mental illness.

But these are just the tip of the iceberg. White House Dossier’s team of investigative reporters has uncovered ten other things nobody knew Trump had caused, until now:

1. Hurricane Michael. I mean, obviously.

2. The breakup of the Beatles (in cooperation with Yoko Ono).

3. The final episode of The Sopranos everyone hated.

4. The low quality of Chinese food in Los Angeles compared to New York.

5. The sudden increase in the number of white sharks off of Cape Cod.

6. The Spanish-American War.

7. The Zodiac murders.

8. The final episode of Seinfeld everyone hated.

9. The Dred Scott decision.

10. It’s not well known, but Trump wrote, produced and actually sang “I Write the Songs,” which is usually attributed to Barry Manilow and is widely regarded as the worst song of the 1970s. In doing this, he inflicted countless hours of pain on the ears of AM radio listeners from that era.

I wonder, are there any surprising things Trump is responsible for that you have dug up as part of your own research?

Video || Johnny Carson Respectfully Sends Up Reagan

President Reagan was hated by the press and much of Hollywood almost as much as President Trump is.

But that didn’t mean comedians vilely disrespected the office of the president, even if today, admittedly, the president himself diminishes it with his own crude behavior.

This is Johnny Carson spoofing Reagan with a new take on an old Abbott and Costello Routine. In case you don’t know, the Interior Secretary at the time was James Watt and the person in the video with Carson is supposed to be Reagan Chief of Staff James Baker.

Here is the original.

Video || The Dems Are Back!

This is from a few months ago, done right after the Democrats won the governors’ races in New Jersey and Virginia. But I thought it was relevant in light of the Democrats’ hubris in believing they are on track to take the House and the Senate, which is now in question. A rare little bit… Continue Reading

Trump Repeatedly Sexually Harassed Ted Cruz, Saying He’d “Do Anything”

President Trump repeatedly and gruesomely sexually harassed Republican Texas Sen. Ted Cruz, White House Dossier has learned, sending out tweets in January 2016 suggesting that Cruz would have sex with Goldman Sachs and that Cruz and Jeb Bush would use their bodies to maintain political power. The shocking harassment was repeated Tuesday when some of… Continue Reading