As of now, I am in control here, in the White House

Tag Archives: Oil spill

BP Execs Headed for the White House

In the latest sign that the White House is operating behind the curve on the oil spill, word is trickling out this morning that BP brass have been summoned to the West Wing for a meeting. In a secret internal BP memo unearthed by White House Dossier, BP executives have been instructed to place small… Continue Reading

Yo Tony Hayward, It’s Obama Calling!

White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs today came under withering fire from reporters at the daily White House briefing about why President Obama continues not to get on the horn with BP CEO Tony Hayward. Gibbs sounded less than eloquent in trying to explain the unexplainable, which of course is a press secretary’s job, so… Continue Reading

President Obama’s Head Falls Off

As part of its effort to show Obama cares, the White House has added ANOTHER daily briefing to the president’s schedule, this one on the “BP Deepwater Horizon Oil Spill.” I first noticed this yesterday on Tuesday”s schedule, and now it’s back for Wednesday’s. When Obama took office, there was only one daily briefing, the… Continue Reading

I Want to Kicketh Thy Ass

A former Constitutional law professor yesterday said he has been trying to figure out “whose ass to kick” in order to solve the oil spill crisis in the Gulf. The professor, who recently got a job as president of the United States, has been accused of failing to show emotion as the crisis winds on… Continue Reading

Obama Cancels Asia Trip, Again

The White House has announced that Obama is canceling his upcoming trip to Indonesia and Australia for the second time, promising to get to them later. Here is a statement from Gibbs: President Obama spoke tonight with Prime Minister Rudd of Australia, and with President Yudhoyono of Indonesia.  President Obama expressed his deep regret that… Continue Reading

Obama to BP: Drop Dead

President Obama today appeared in the Rose Garden to drive home the point that BP is bad people and he’s got nothing to do with them. And by the way, they might land in jail too. We will absolutely continue to hold B.P. and any other responsible parties accountable for financial losses born by the… Continue Reading

Obama Blames Millard Fillmore for Oil Spill

President Millard Fillmore (1850-1853) had taken a lot of crap over the years, but his reputation sunk to a new low today when President Barack Obama put the blame squarely on his administration for the disastrous oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. “Oil drilling has been going on in the gulf, including deepwater, for… Continue Reading