In what can only be described as a remarkable sacrifice for the public good, the Obamas’ extended vacation in Hawaii was staged entirely to showcase for the public what happens when you allow too much income inequality.
According to White House advisors close to the president – not close, as in standing next to him all the time, but who have a close relationship with him, at least professionally – the Obamas planned and executed their exorbitant excursion to Hawaii for no other reason than to show Americas how disgustingly well the disgustingly rich live and to drum up support for Obama’s agenda to close the income gap.
“The president and Mrs. Obama this year wanted to just take a three-day weekend at a Ramada Inn in Philadelphia,” said one White House source. “But they felt that, for the good of the country, they must head to Honolulu so people could understand what’s really going on with income inequality.
On the record, aides were more circumspect. “The president always stands ready to do what’s right for the American people, even if this involves some inconvenience and level of sacrifice on his part” said White House Press Secretary Jay Carney.
To drive the point home, President Obama played golf nine times while in Hawaii. “I’m sick of golf. I’m not going,” Obama snapped as he was told by aides he must head out to the links for the ninth and final time.
The president then had to be restrained after smashing a vase of orchids with his putter, according to sources who were present at the time of the incident, which occurred in the billiards room of his rental home. But aides then calmed him down and convinced him he must shoot one last round – for the people’s sake.
Soon after playing, it was time to head home.
But Mrs. Obama, who is whispered to be the most forceful advocate within the White House of ending income inequality, believed that even after more than two weeks on vacation, the Obamas had not done enough. With time running out on their rental, Michelle volunteered to make the arduous journey from Oahu to Maui, where she would spend another nine days or so at the home of Oprah Winfrey.
Oprah’s pad was not her first choice, aides emphasized.
“She expressed a desire to stay at the Maui Motel 6, but we convinced her that the only way to truly make her point was to hang out with Oprah,” said a person close to Michelle. Again, not person close to Michelle like sitting at the same table with her or something, but close to her in that, you know, they talk.
According to several informed sources, Michelle is considering skiing this year in the Alps, believing that her annual trips to Aspen do not sufficiently showcase the lifestyles of the rich and famous for the benefit poor people.
Meanwhile, Obama next month will jet down to Florida again for golf lessons with Tiger Woods, and he plans to enhance this symbolic demonstration of the income gap with a practical step toward closing it by this time tipping the caddies.