As of now, I am in control here, in the White House

Tag Archives: Gina McCarthy

Climate Change Threat: NOT MY COFFEE!

I don’t know about you, but I can’t live without my coffee. Not, at least, in a sustainable, people-friendly way.

If someone talks to me in the morning before I have my coffee, what I do is, I resist the urge to bite their head off and instead I go stand on my head in the corner and scream obscenities at the cat for 35 minutes.

The cat doesn’t mind, in case you’re an animal rights nut.

If there’s no coffee in the house, I take a screwdriver and chisel the dried coffee off the side of the pot from yesterday’s batch. Then I eat the pieces, which provide enough caffeine for me to get in my car and make it to the 7-11 to get whatever type of dishwater they’re disguising as coffee.

So it was really hitting below the belt when EPA Administrator Gina McCarthy said today that global warming was putting coffee at risk:

Coffee’s a temperature-sensitive crop. Climate change puts the world’s coffee-growing regions at risk.

Gina went on to say something about Coca Cola not being able to get water and sugar because of climate change, which would pretty much mean lights out for Coca Cola. And a six pack of Coca Cola will give me the caffeine I need for my morning hit. So this is a disaster.

Yeah, she said Coca Cola is not going to be able to find water. I thought the seas were going to swamp Atlanta? Oh well, never mind, let’s assume she must be right. It’s the “doubters” who are the lunatics, right? Not Gina McCarthy.

Anyway, this is too much to take. I give in. Please, President Obama, sign whatever treaty Gina wants. I don’t care if it requires us to drive golf carts to work. Just give me my coffee.

My cat agrees, BTW.

Scientists, Unite!

President Obama’s Commissar for Environmental Policy, EPA Director Gina McCarthy, ordered environmentalists FORWARD to “meet the needs of this president” by speaking “the truth” to the uninformed masses.

McCarthy spoke in Northern Virginia Thursday at a global warming conference sponsored by the comrades at the National Council for Science and the Environment. She said:

I need you now more than ever to speak the truth. I need you to stand up together with us and explain what the science is telling you.

To tell people that science and technology improvements will allow us to take action moving forward that meets the needs of this president as he has charged EPA, which is to look at climate change as something where we can innovate and we can move forward to grow the economy, to grow jobs, to understand how we’re producing sustainable, livable communities.

NCSE Executive Director Peter Saundry cheered McCarthy on, urging President Obama to use the royal chop and rule by decree as much as possible:

President Obama has announced that he will work with Congress whenever he can but will not be held hostage – will move forward and do the utmost, we hope, through executive authority and through the agencies.

Comrades, when democracy is a problem, do the utmost!

Meanwhile, the next day, Obama instructed businesses to hire members of the proletariat who had been out of work for a long time.

Onward!

H/T to CNS News.