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Obama: Forget the Economy, Stupid. The Boogeyman is Here!

The Boogeyman is outside. THE BOOGEYMAN IS OUTSIDE!

Forget that the house is falling down. That the roof is caving in on your head, and the floor sinking into the earth. THE BOOGEYMAN IS OUTSIDE! And he’s coming to get us.

President Barack Obama has found the boogeyman, and it turns out, IT’S THE CHAMBER OF COMMERCE!

That’s right, though he has tried to show recently what a supporter of small business he is, Obama has figured out that the group that is home to thousands of small businesses around the country, that is the nation’s veritable emblem of U.S. business, is in fact THE BOOGEYMAN.

That’s because it gets foreign money and is contributing to campaigns. And everyone knows that the Chamber routinely makes it’s policy and political choices based on what Serbia tells it to do. So forget about the bad economy, the new, unpopular health reform bill, the deficit, and the rest of it. SERBIA IS TRYING TO RUIN OUR DEMOCRACY!

Here’s Obama yesterday in Bowie, Md, talking about the Chamber of Commerce, which is BUYING ADS. God help us.

Just this week, we learned that one of the largest groups paying for these ads regularly takes in money from foreign corporations.  So groups that receive foreign money are spending huge sums to influence American elections, and they won’t tell you where the money for their ads come from.

OMG! They get money from foreigners! Those damn foreigners.

And look, over there: ANOTHER BOOGEYMAN! Obama found him for us and shined the bright spotlight of disgrace on him last night in Chicago.

According to one recent report, conservatives — conservative groups like these have outspent Democratic seven to one.  Right here in Illinois, in this Senate race, two groups funded and advised by Karl Rove have outspent the Democratic Party two to one in an attempt to beat Alexi — two to one.  Funded and advised by Karl Rove.

And this boogeyman is not just funding a political group, HE’S GIVING THEM ADVICE! A private U.S. citizen is both funding and advising a political operation.

Because that’s how boogeymen operate. I know. When I was little, there was a boogeyman in my closet, and he was both funding and advising the boogeyman under my bed.

It’s particularly frightening in this case, though BECAUSE ROVE GIVES GOOD ADVICE. He got Bush elected. Twice.

I’ll bet Rove is hanging with that other boogeyman, John Boehner. The two of them together are enough to create BOOGEY FEVER.

Voters, are you frighted enough? Wait ’til Obama tells you what the Republicans are going to do with Social Security. Oh, wait, he already has. Or Medicare. Oh, wait, he already has.

But don’t be scared. Everybody knows the boogeyman isn’t real.