Satire || White House Dossier obtains transcript of Biden offer to Kamala Harris to be VP

White House Dossier has obtained a transcript of the original, unstaged offer made by Joe Biden to Kamala Harris to be his running mate. It went about as you would expect.

Joe Biden: Kamala, It’s September, and what follows, from before the rains, in the previous August. Making time for orange summers in the corner of the field. I stand before you, a Spanish penguin, with outstretched paws.

Kamala Harris: Are you saying you want me to be your running mate?

Biden: I think so.

Harris: Okay, I accept.

Biden: Thank you. God bless your family. May you find the vines filled with the singing grapes of the endless wonders.

Harris: Thank you, Mr. Vice President.

Biden: No thanks. I’m on a diet.

Harris: Goodbye

Biden: Yes, I’ve said it before. I’m going to have my milk now.

Harris: Yes sir, you do that. I’m getting off the phone now.

Biden: You’re getting off the phone now.

Harris: You are too.

Biden: I am too. Where’s my milk?

Harris: Ask Jill, she has it.

Biden: Who? Is that the milkman

Harris: Yes, that’s the milkman. Goodbye. I’ll handle everything going forward.

Biden: Thank you. Goodbye.