White House Dossier has obtained a transcript of the original, unstaged offer made by Joe Biden to Kamala Harris to be his running mate. It went about as you would expect.
Joe Biden: Kamala, It’s September, and what follows, from before the rains, in the previous August. Making time for orange summers in the corner of the field. I stand before you, a Spanish penguin, with outstretched paws.
Kamala Harris: Are you saying you want me to be your running mate?
Biden: I think so.
Harris: Okay, I accept.
Biden: Thank you. God bless your family. May you find the vines filled with the singing grapes of the endless wonders.
Harris: Thank you, Mr. Vice President.
Biden: No thanks. I’m on a diet.
Biden: Yes, I’ve said it before. I’m going to have my milk now.
Harris: Yes sir, you do that. I’m getting off the phone now.
Biden: You’re getting off the phone now.
Harris: You are too.
Biden: I am too. Where’s my milk?
Harris: Ask Jill, she has it.
Biden: Who? Is that the milkman
Harris: Yes, that’s the milkman. Goodbye. I’ll handle everything going forward.
Biden: Thank you. Goodbye.