As of now, I am in control here, in the White House

Top Ten Things Nobody Knew Trump Was Responsible for

In recent days, I’ve read that President Trump is responsible for the disappearance of Saudi critic Jamal Khashoggi because of the president’s support for Saudi Arabia’s leader Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman. Today, Politico informs us that Trump is causing a spike in mental illness.

But these are just the tip of the iceberg. White House Dossier’s team of investigative reporters has uncovered ten other things nobody knew Trump had caused, until now:

1. Hurricane Michael. I mean, obviously.

2. The breakup of the Beatles (in cooperation with Yoko Ono).

3. The final episode of The Sopranos everyone hated.

4. The low quality of Chinese food in Los Angeles compared to New York.

5. The sudden increase in the number of white sharks off of Cape Cod.

6. The Spanish-American War.

7. The Zodiac murders.

8. The final episode of Seinfeld everyone hated.

9. The Dred Scott decision.

10. It’s not well known, but Trump wrote, produced and actually sang “I Write the Songs,” which is usually attributed to Barry Manilow and is widely regarded as the worst song of the 1970s. In doing this, he inflicted countless hours of pain on the ears of AM radio listeners from that era.

I wonder, are there any surprising things Trump is responsible for that you have dug up as part of your own research?

30 Responses to Top Ten Things Nobody Knew Trump Was Responsible for

  1. You should ask:
    8 years of Obama and I never had a cold/flu, but 2 years of Trump – pow! sick as a dog.
    Our home’s AC broke down and needed replaced – thanks for nothing Trump.
    The back tires on my 97 minivan are going flat – didn’t happen during the Obama years.
    So much more – it’s depressing.

  2. Hadn’t been stung by a bee since the Clinton administration…under Trump, twice within two months earlier this year!

    Since I live in Los Angeles, I’ve concluded these are liberal bees who are still mad about him being elected.

  3. Trump could cure cancer and the libs would bitch that he didn’t do it fast enough. Or that he withheld the cure so his buddies in the pharmaceutical industry could get rich.

      • President Trump was visiting the National Zoo when a child got too close to the lions cage and was snatched through the bars by the lion’s claws. Trump leaped forward and punched the lion in the face, causing him to release the boy.

        CNN headline the following day:

        “Trump Steals Lunch From Legal Immigrant!”

  4. I believe he imported the flea carrying rats in the Middle ages in the construction material for his hotels which led to the Black Death and the Dark Ages.

  5. Well before Trump I found 4 leaf clovers in my year at least once a week…since Trump maybe 6 total. In as to be his fault! Also I broke my glasses for the 1st time ever and have to wait a few months till I can get new frames.