Yeah. That’s what we got here. This is what the New York Times, our paper of record, is leading its story with. The charge that almost exactly 33 years ago, Brett Kavanaugh threw ice at someone in a bar:
As an undergraduate student at Yale, Brett M. Kavanaugh was involved in an altercation at a local bar during which he was accused of throwing ice on another patron, according to a police report.
The incident, which occurred in September 1985 during Mr. Kavanaugh’s junior year, resulted in Mr. Kavanaugh and four other men being questioned by the New Haven Police Department. Mr. Kavanaugh was not arrested, but the police report stated that a 21-year-old man accused Mr. Kavanaugh of throwing ice on him “for some unknown reason.”
The outlines of the incident were first referred to in a statement issued on Sunday by Chad Ludington, one of Judge Kavanaugh’s college classmates and a member of the Yale basketball team.
“On one of the last occasions I purposely socialized with Brett, I witnessed him respond to a semi-hostile remark, not by defusing the situation, but by throwing his beer in the man’s face,” Mr. Ludington said in the statement. Mr. Ludington, a professor at North Carolina State University, said he came forward because he believed Judge Kavanaugh had mischaracterized the extent of his drinking at Yale.
First of all, good for him. Getting in a fight in a bar might once have been considered a sign of manliness, you know, like during the time of “The Greatest Generation.” Something you might even brag about. During a time when men aspired to manliness. But today is a different time, at least in the Northeast and on the West Coast, a time when the testicles of modern men have been removed and placed into a giant jar of formaldehyde in the Smithsonian, to be viewed by future “woke” generations as a peculiar artifact from the past.
But let’s be honest here. Ice can harm. What happens is – scientifically, okay? – it can touch the skin, creating what ironically is a kind of burning sensation – even though it’s cold! Weird, I know. And then, when the ice hits you, you might have to say something like, “Ouch!”
We don’t want to live in a society where people have to say “Ouch.” Or a society where being a man means sometimes having to take a punch and sometimes having to throw one. We can just go to the movies and watch Matt Damon’s violent films for that.
You know, an ex-girlfriend in college once threw a large cup of beer on me. I’m going to have the FBI track her down.
Sure, these allegations are ancient, but I am told by anonymous sources of a more recent allegation against Kavanaugh. Sources say that just two years ago, in early November 2016, Kavanaugh stealthily crept into one of his kids’ bedrooms and ate some of her Halloween candy. I’m trying to get this story confirmed. I’ll be back to you when I do.
All of which gives me an excuse to run this.