As of now, I am in control here, in the White House

Hillary Hires Michelle’s Image-Redo Guru

Remember when Michelle Obama used to seem kind of mean and didn’t appear to like America very much? Well, today, she’s just a hip, dancing mom who cares about what your kids eat, shops at Target, and wants to help tell our troops, Thank you for your service.

Well, that didn’t just happen. The East Wing employed a woman named Kristina Schake to help Michelle transform herself into a likable first lady.

michelle Obama Halloween

Now Hillary wants some of that.

According to NBC News, Mrs. Clinton has taken Schake into her orbit to help her appear like less of a space alien. Schake no doubt will jettison the poor-little-rich girl shtick – “We left the White House broke!” – put Hillary in the aisles at Walmart, and have the Associated Press catch her at Bingo night down at the church.

But alas, it won’t be so easy this time. Mrs. Obama has far more control over her image than a presidential candidate. She doesn’t have to face the press, can carefully choose her relatively infrequent public appearances, isn’t under 24-hour extraordinary pressure, and isn’t being bashed every day by the opposition.

It would be great if Hillary could just be herself. But no one seems to like that very much.

39 Responses to Hillary Hires Michelle’s Image-Redo Guru

    • LOL! The Hildebeast is as likable as Jack the Ripper. She will never be able to ditch that cackle or those bulging, greedy eyes.

      Why not just bring back her famous comedy routine: ‘I’m no ways tired’. Oh wait…that was 7 years ago. Wrong skin color.

      Maybe she can learn to do the Mexican Hat Dance in full costume.

      • I was thinking the same–she’s likeable with the hootchy outfits and wallowing on the carpet and reading bad jokes from writers who should know better? Maybe this image gal could persuade Hill to lose the boxy pantsuits–but I don’t want to help…so I will desist.

    • Yes, if you’re 51 years old and still so clueless about how to properly present yourself as an adult in public, and have thus become a nation-wide laughing stock every time you speak and put yet another Halloween-style ensemble, then you’ve got some serious fixin’ to do. And then, when you’re still too dim and simple-minded to figure out how to pull off the image upgrade and have to hire some stranger to repair your “image” ….well, gosh, that says it all, doesn’t it?

  1. Schake rattle and roll huh ?
    I think that it will take an enormous amount of audacity for H. Clinton to run.
    However,….I’m sure she is up to it.

    • Hillary has audacity, no doubt; and completely remiss of any conscious. She needs to be, at the very least, laughed and booed off the political stage; and if congressional oversight actually does its job find out: how she had a part in the death of Ambassador Stevens and company, as well as what happened to the missing $6 billion when she was Secretary of State.

  2. Hillary will never be compliant in some scheme to transform her image. She is just beyond reproach. And lets face facts…transforming a First Lady is one thing, but transforming Hillary as a presidential candidate just will not sell.

    We all know, underneath it all, Bruce Jenner is a man….sort of.

  3. For all that she was once seen as a strident, racist woman who held jobs of importance, changing her public persona into a fashion disaster who shops at Target for her $1,000 frocks, or a ditz who pretends to be nothing more than a meddling pol who likes to prove that she never left the ghetto of Chicago, it has made the woman into something of a joke that never ends.

    No image guru can change the fact that MrsO can’t put together a complete sentence on her own, nor will this guru make MrsClinton into an honest woman who can lead our country out of the morass.

  4. Arghh. There isn’t enough Make-Over Magic on the planet to make The Hag over into something even close to resembling human.
    Besides, what then would you do with Bubba?

  5. Some book is coming out that says Hillary clocked her hubs over the Monica thing and he had to get stitches. I do remember it being reported that she called him a “dumb mffer” in front of reporter witnesses. Really puts the you know what in “classy.”

  6. Perhaps Ms. Schake should look for a different line of work. And perhaps Ms. Clinton shouldn’t hire her. Because squatter Michelle hasn’t changed. The only time she’s now scowling is when people are talking about her.

  7. Shrillary’s hiring of this advisor to reshape her image is confirmation of one of my biggest complaints about her – she’s inauthentic. Always has been, always will be.

  8. What a great example of self-awareness in that Mrs.Obama could understand her significant personality flaws and would take steps to correct them or a least have the decency to hide them from the American people.

    When is Kristina Schake’s first day of work?