As of now, I am in control here, in the White House

Top Ten Iranian Schemes to Acquire and Keep Nuclear Weapons

Wait a second everyone. Before this nuclear deal – or whatever it is – gets announced today, Western negotiators should be warned that White House Dossier has uncovered how Iran intends to fool the world about its weapons program.

We haven’t had a chance to confirm this, but given that time is running short and the issue is of such a critical nature, we felt we had to publish it immediately. Without, in fact, taking the time to read it.

Herewith, then, the Top ten Iranian schemes to acquire and keep nuclear weapons:

1. Hide a new nuclear weapons plant inside Kerry’s head.

2. Convince Obama the nuclear weapons program is “for the children.”

3. Convince Obama that if Iran ever drops its bombs, it will help combat global warming.

4. Promise to end the nuclear program if Ahmadinejad is allowed to compete on “Dancing with the Stars,” and then claim the United States is being “unreasonable” by keeping him off the show.

5. When nuclear weapons inspectors knock on the door, don’t open it, and keep saying, “This is the pickle factory and we’re closed now” until they go away.

6. If Obama threatens to attack, have Norway award him another Nobel Peace Prize.

7. Require nuclear weapons inspectors to use Apple Maps while in Iran.

8. Paint the nuclear weapons in bright, appealing colors.

9. Sponsor “Lifetime of Free Golf” award to P5+1 world leader who caves the most in negotiations.

10. Conceal the nuclear weapons by shoving them all up Ayatollah Khamenei’s ass.

15 Responses to Top Ten Iranian Schemes to Acquire and Keep Nuclear Weapons

  1. Just another day of “transforming America”

    Oputters plan is working just fine. Which is death to American, by a thousand cuts.

    Nothing to see here , move along.

    • Congress had better grow a set or the thousand cuts will become a million.

      The stonewalling that this administration using is appalling, and so far they are getting away with it.

  2. Within the last week, I noticed the framework of the screen is different on
    I use itto be able to pull up news from different parts of the
    world. US/Canada, Europe, UK, Asia, Middle East, etc.
    Now it is limited to:
    US/Canada, UK, World.
    I pulled up the site, trying to get info, news on the citizens response from all over regarding this deal.
    Has anyone else noticed the different set up?
    If anyone should know of a different site that I can pull up top news from all over, please let me know.
    By the way Keith, thanks for the laugh.
    We all need to find a laugh, giggle, smile though this.

  3. Good stuff, Keith. On a serious note, (and you all may have seen this) a tactic the Iranians are demanding, and Kerry is agreeing with, is that the “agreement” reached will not be put in writing. No one will be able read what’s in the agreement, because it won’t be written down anywhere.

    That’s right. No written record. Nothing on paper. Just a handshake and a wink. A “trust us” kind of agreement. How this will be accomplished is anyone’s guess, but there it is. This is pure, classic Obama malfeasance. Obama’s is paving the highway to Iran’s nuclear arsenal, and there won’t be a written record. And no one will have a record to make Obama accountable for this insanity.