As of now, I am in control here, in the White House

Leading By Confusion

President Obama today vowed to “degrade and ultimately destroy” the Ebola virus, but asserted that the United States would not commit ground troops to the effort and other nations must “take the lead” in the fight.

“Oh wait a second, that’s the other thing,” Obama added, realizing he was in fact talking about ISIS.

Obama, looking haggard after several days of having to work, apologized for the confusion and noted that he did in fact dispatch ground troops to fight the Ebola virus, but not ISIS.

“Our armed forces drill every day on tactics for combating viruses,” Obama said. “Viruses, Islamist terrorists – it doesn’t matter, they’re all little jerks. In fact, I’ve decided to declare war on Ebola and send infectious disease experts to fight ISIS.”

“Good idea,” said Vice President Joe Biden. “Glad you’re finally taking my advice.”

Perplexed at why the president is using the armed forces to build latrines in Liberia instead of fighting bad guys in Iraq and Syria, White House aides have decided in coming days to quarantine Biden and some of his top advisors, according to a senior administration official.

“We had previously thought Biden’s inanity could only be caught through exposure to his bodily fluids. Sorry to be disgusting. But we now suspect inanity is transmissible by air, and so we plan to take steps to separate him – and anyone he’s had contact with in the last 21 days – from the president.”

Flights in and out of Wilmington Delaware, where Biden spends his weekends, will be restricted, and vacationers will be barred from the city. “It’s not a big deal, nobody vacations in Wilmington, Delaware except Biden,” the senior official said.

Meanwhile, First Lady Michelle Obama as a goodwill gesture sent a crate of turnips to troops on the ground in Liberia. U.S. troops were said to be fleeing Liberia in search of cheeseburger.

Mrs. Obama also dispatched thousands of her school lunches to Iraq and Syria as a “goodwill” gesture to the Islamists. ISIS fighters were immediately seen surrendering by the hundreds.

“Frankly, nobody here knows what we’re doing,” the senior administration official said. “We’re kind of winging it, trying everything to see what works. I mean, we don’t even know if you can get Ebola on a bus. We just know that one kills by attacking the organs and the other kills by cutting off the head. But we’re quite certain about this: Women are paid just 77 cents on the dollar compared to a man. And that’s got to stop.”

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60 Responses to Leading By Confusion

  1. OT: On Fox it was just stated that 19 times we have put a hold on Visa’s.
    I will look it up myself. If anyone knows details about that, please share at some time.

    • DeniseVB, I like the word ‘infamous’ describing ‘who she is’ under the photo. Most everyone I know have some ‘expletives deleted’ to describe FLOTUS.

      Did anyone check-out where all the ‘tax-payers stimulus $’s’ went after 19 green energy companies filed bankruptcy? Whatever happened to the corrupt CEO’s who are bho’s buddies-in-corruption?

      Keith, your article perfectly expresses the frustration, disbelief, and sheer exhaustion of citizens who are still paying attention to the massive CHAOS out of DC spreading quickly across the Nation! More people are beginning to completely ZONE OUT because their heads are spinning! (Note: I need a banana for my headache, now!) jb

    • “She never bragged about it”….(her increased wealth)

      Of course she didn’t brag about it – she has been spending all of her time investing in the market with high-powered financial mogus. Would love to know who’s managing her portfolio – Buffet? Summers? Granny is probably raking it in, too. Her penchant for gambling is public knowledge.

      Mooch’s husband has deliberately and with malice of forethought kept interest rates artificially low for his entire term. It’s a no-brainer! Money all left the bond market and went into the stock market. He’s probably making money on the downside this week, also. Inflation talk from the Feds.

      I thought a POTUS had to put his assets into a blind trust. Looks like MO is the trusted trustee. What hypocrites!!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. Should be called Operation Inhaling Resolve. If you smoke enough dope you’ll believe anything this administration has to say.

    Peace out… Go Mary Jane!

  3. OT: I pulled up Weasal Zippers. There is an article that dispatchers cannot use the word Ebola over the radio.
    City officials are jittery about causing widespread E panic, by dropping any E words over the radio.
    I had typed all the new words, but thought it was best to edt them.

  4. One of your best Keith. Excellent.

    You know that old saying Be careful of what you wish for, you may get it.

    The country wanted Obama to respond to Ebola –ok we didn’t get any real workable solutions or border closings — but he is responding and now once again — we cannot get him to shut up.

    Praying for a return to fundraising and gof.

    • @Grace – I know it’s a typo, but “gof” is perfect. We know he heads to golf courses but does he actually golf, or does he “gof”.
      lol. best laugh today, thanks.

  5. Barry the Liar is on the talking box.

    Re. travel ban — history shows history of avoidance…..

    Now he is trying to make us believe that he talks to experts, that these experts know what they are talking about and that it is all about keeping America safe.

    Maybe this is what he said earlier — I never watch him or listen to his voice — but he is all folksy and concerned. And this has nothing to do with him — experts — not him.

    Too bad he does not take the advice of his other experts — the generals. And also he promises to share new information with the American people. Lies.

    • He’s full of’ crap. Everyone that he works with gets their talking points from him about everything. Thats why they all sound so incredulously dumb! They all humiliate themselves every day talking like a ventriliquist’s dummy, just repeating what he tells them to say. Experts my foot! He wouldn’t take advice from anyone, like generals that are ten times smarter than him, or so-called “experts”. Lying about those experts for sure. He’s having a real good time with Ebola now. Loves scaring all of us, oh sadistic too, you betcha. He’ll get his one day thats for sure.

  6. OMG, he’s on the tv screen…again! He won’t shut up! I don’t believe it – he doesn’t have an issue with a travel ban now….if it’s going to keep the America people safe! Nothing but double-talk and gibberish!

    The American people are miles ahead of this bozo. We know he is just running out the clock until election day. Fox six years he has been deaf, dumb, and mute – this is astounding. He keeps referring to his ‘team’ – it definitely is the JV team!

    The news outlets need to stop the wall-to-wall coverage of ebola until after the election. They’re playing right into the devil’s hands. And no more cameras for Obama!

    • Obama — buck up America. We have poor suffering desperate people in another country. They deserve our concern and compassion and help — not you lucky guys to live here with me.

      And yet about massacres in the ME — and the slaughter of Christians –crickets.

      He was actually kind of contemptible — I got this — you whiners.

      • Yeah, we’re whiners! Always knocking America and Americans. He should go f… himself. He’s so worried about other countries all the time, so let him go work with the UN full time and leave us the f… alone! He doesn’t like America, well, we don’t like him anymore either, we hate him!

  7. There is a big picture of the iron fence on Drudge. I mentioned earlier that Countries in Africa are blocking their borders. O and the American citizens need to take a look at that. The border is working.

  8. The nerve of this guy. He knows nothing about Ebola or any other medical condition and he’s calling the shots? Talk about Hitler’s ghost!