As of now, I am in control here, in the White House

Kerry: God Wants Me to Save Muslim Countries from Global Warming

No really. That’s what he said.

Secretary of State John Kerry today deployed logic to the effect of, God “created the heavens and the earth” and therefore God wants him to stop global warming and especially to do this to help Muslim countries, which are particularly imperiled.

Now, you ask me, has Kerry gone . . .



I really don’t know. I just hope Muslims and God appreciate everything he’s doing for them.

And if only ISIS could get this message. If only they could get themselves on the State Department press release list, they’d at least read what Kerry has to say, and how he wants to make the desert less hot for them.

They’d be more comfortable, less in need of decadent Western cultural artifacts, like central air conditioning, and maybe they’d even be able to think straight. Maybe they wouldn’t be such hotheads, and they’d leave other people’s heads where they belong.

And the world – God’s world – would be a better, and cooler, place.

62 Responses to Kerry: God Wants Me to Save Muslim Countries from Global Warming

    • Here’ what I don’t understand (among MANY other things). Liberals are Darwinists. Yet the very Existence of people like John Kerry argues AGAINST Darwinism. Someone please tell me how John Kerry represents the survival of the fittest. ‘course he DID survive TWO tours in Viet Nam while being horribly wounded when the laundry hut blew up and he was hit with a flying zipper. Certainly worthy of the medals he threw over the White House fence. Even though they weren’t HIS medals. In case you haven’t picked up on it, I ABSOLUTELY this loathe this waste of protoplasm.

      • All this from the man who gleefully supports abortion when GOD
        says ” tho shalt not kill”.

        This man really needs to take a swim in the swamp!

    • If you focus on “Global Warming/Climate Change/Climate Disruption” as the MOST serious and immediate problem in the world, then you can dismiss the REAL most serious problems in the world. Life is simple when you’re a liberal!!

      • In fact studies have shown that liberals worry less about things than conservatives. Even those things they SHOULD be worried about. Which, along with Al Gore’s purchase of beach front property here in Kalifornia, tells me climate hysteria is just another tool to bend us to the progressive way.

  1. This is like Ted Baxter explaining the chemistry of putty to kindergarten children. Kerry actually does not understand what is going on around him or what a clueless dolt he is. My fear is that he has dreams of becoming President. You heard it here first.

  2. American journalists are being decapitated, Russia is restarting the Cold War, our southern border is virtually nonexistent, half of the middle east is in a state of complete chaos, our President is too meek and feckless to protect Americans from a new terrorist caliphate in Syria and Iraq and Secretary of State Kerry is worried about the effects of global warming in Muslim countries. God help Us!

  3. Now in one hand, at least the maniacs can see that some of our politicians are not being effective by their gross killing and propaganda.
    On the other hand we are in big trouble if we look this weak as they are portraying us to be.
    No I do not want us to present ourselves as tough bullies, just as a solid, strong Country.
    If you stand up to a bully, he’ll back off.
    Now all I need to hear is someone yelling again: What difference does it make?

  4. Now, let’s not be so judgemental here. The crazed terrorists are doing their part in preventing glo-bull warming by insisting that we go back to a cooler time – the 7th A.D. century. No TV, no cars, planes, plants spewing lethal chemicals, no fancy clothing for anyone, no nothing but food cooked with natural fuels (gak), and people dying as they should of diseases long since eradicated.
    Mrkerry’s do as I say, not as I am wont to do is just galling. When he announces that he destroyed his big fuel-gulping boat, refuses to fly about on a fuel-gulping jet, and has the Missus start cooking his dinner outside over a wooden fire, then he can say anything he wants about glo-bull warming/cooling/movements/ aliens.

  5. love @pianogirl88 reply!
    since he is spouting the Bible it would be nice if he spouted it correctly….so Kerry thinks that God isn’t big enough to manage the climate on the planet HE created. Maybe Kerry should be doing what God asked instead which is to love the Lord with all your heart, and to spread the gospel of Christ…not tree huggerism.

  6. As I say about most of these liberals when they claim God — they wouldn’t recognize God in their life if he was sitting right in front of them.

    God was removed from the Democrat Platform. They should remember that.

  7. The day John Kerry was sworn in he was asked what is the greatest threat to national security and he said Climate Change. That day and every day thereafter.

    • Ah yes, the climate change that has been in “abeyance” for 19 years now. But the climate change folks know why that is. It’s ’cause the deep oceans are hiding all the warmer temps. They have no data to support this of course. They just “know” it to be true. Kerry is a Climate Jihadi!!

      • I take that back about Kerry being a “Climate Change Jihadi”. That would presuppose he actually believed in ANYTHING other than marrying rich women. (A policy I subscribe to but have never managed to follow).

  8. What is he saying? Inextripably linked? Is that a new word that he developed. He said it three times, so it must be important.

    Kerry knows he won’t get another shot at being President, certainly not if the Clintons are still in the game (unless Hillary has another…cranial incident).

    So therefore, he’s been doing anything he can to score a Nobel Prize and angle himself for a UN position, much like Obama will possibly do. It would be perfect for both of them. No pesky press coverage, plenty of organizing but no real responsibility, plenty of high-life travel and leisure on someone else’s money.

    Although I do think Kerry still wants to run at least once more before giving up that goal. But speeches like this make me wonder if the audience is too polite to burst out in laughter, everyone is dozing off, or the hall is empty.

  9. Does this idiot really understand what he is saying? You cannot pick and choose what parts you like out of the Bible and ignore the rest. Somebody needs to remind him what “scripture” says about homosexuality.

  10. Good God – and he’s a step UP from Hillarity Clownton. Life is so simple when you’re a simpleton. These lemmings will never stop beating the climate drum until their only climate is inside a pine box. Of course, since they are adept liars, they would naturally gravitate towards stories concocted by other liars – as long as it gave them additional power to force their good works down the throats of their subjects. I have a hint for you, Lurch – we’re citizens, not subjects. Go sell your fantasies elsewhere and stay out of the business of government. Certifiable.