As of now, I am in control here, in the White House

Caption Contest: Nude Man at the White House

The man in the photo below materialized at the Northwest Gate of the White House Friday afternoon. That’s the gate where the press and visitors enter.

Technically, yes, he was a visitor, so at least he showed up at the right place, if not quite in the right condition.

The Secret Service was forced to wrestle him to the ground – poor guys – and cart him away.

I was trying to think of something funny to write but I was between my first and second cups of coffee and it occurred to me: THIS ONE CRIES OUT FOR A CAPTION CONTEST.

So let’s tap the ample cleverness of my readers and see what we come up with.

We’re going to do this as 21st century liberals: I’m not going to pick a winner. Everybody wins! No losers. But no, NOT everybody gets a prize.

A big H/T to one of our readers, DeniseVB, who found this.

Naked man White House

Okay I’ll start: My appointment with the president was for 4:30 but I hope he doesn’t mind, I’m a bit early.

75 Responses to Caption Contest: Nude Man at the White House

  1. Sorry. I forgot to wear my mom genes in honor of Obama.

    Isn’t that President Clinton in disguise? Quick, get Monica Lewinsky to identify the distinguishing characteristics.

  2. “Well, I learned to never play a game of strip poker with Valerie Jarrett, that’s what I learned. Could you ask her to at least send my pants to me out here?”

  3. On behalf of the Federation of American Nudist Society, aka FANS, we formally request a waiver from Obamacare. This is not some half assed appeal, we are prepared for a sit in, no buts about it.

  4. Headline I’d like to see:


    You read it here first ;)

  5. Great fun, and some great lines, too!

    Serious now:
    How did this guy get so far and how did he get there? It’s obvious he didn’t disrobe there,, so where are his duds (or did he arrive in DC nekkid).
    OMG, he’s an alien! I saw this in a movie! Did anyone check the Mall for a suspicious-looking pod thing?

    • A Daily Caller reporter was nearby and according to him the guy was dressed, showed i.d. to the gate guard and said he was there to see Obama. He was foreign and then told they didn’t accept foreign i.d. Maybe something got lost in translation and he stripped down right there (obviously not carrying a bomb belt, eh?).

      There’s more layers to the security entrance to the WH, that’s just the pretty gate outside. He didn’t get any further than you or I would :)

      I hope he’s okay too, hope it wasn’t Gregg Jarrett :(

  6. The man speaking to the men who ended up wrestling him:
    I meant to bend over and yell kiss my @#@.
    Hope that is not to vulgar for this contest.

  7. In the spirit of Ray Stevens:

    “And now there seems to have been a disturbance at the WHITE HOUSE! Pardonmesir, didyouseewhathappened?”

    “I shore did. Ethel and I, we were walking down Pennsylvania Avenue, and then there he was, right in front of the White House guard shack. Lookin’ about as obscene as my tax bill. I hollered out there, I said, ‘Ethel! Don’t look!’ But it was too late. She’d already seen what he’d been trying to hide from the NSA.”

  8. Sir? It’s Mr Piketty! He says up until yesterday everyone loved his wardrobe but now everyone is suddenly laughing at him!!

  9. I spent a lot of years in law enforcement and investigations with various agencies, and I can tell you from personal experience that wrestling with a naked man is NOT on the top ten list of things to do.

    First they get all sweaty, and while you are trying to get control of them by grabbing on to whatever you can, invariably someone ends up on the “short end of the stick,” or you go to tackle them and you get “cracked” in the face.

    I feel sorry for the uniformed secret service guys manning the gate. That had to be one of those, “You grab him!” “No, you grab him!” “I know, let’s get Bill, he’ll grab anything!”

  10. OK, here goes….

    1. About all those scandals, I’m here for the naked truth.
    2. Dear NSA, I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.
    3. I’m here for my Obamacare free colonoscopy appointment!
    4. Let ME be clear, there is not a smidgen of corruption here.
    5. Oh, I thought he said Commune-ism.

  11. This is what “Full Disclosure” looks like Mr. President when you tell lie after lie after lie! Liar, liar, pants on fire!

    • Good one. I’ve always been amazed that a politician’s pants actually don’t catch on fire. Alas, no longer.