As of now, I am in control here, in the White House

Let’s Move Starvation Program Suffers Setback

In a major step toward eliminating hunger in the United States, the federal is government throwing in the towel on the protein and grain limits mandated by First Lady Michelle Obama’s kids’ school lunch program, caving in to starving students who were jettisoning tons of bland vegetables into cafeteria garbages throughout the United States.

Somebody stop her!
Somebody, please, stop her!

The change was announced by U.S. Department of Agriculture Undersecretary Kevin Concannon, an undersecretary for food, nutrition and consumer services. He said the feds were making permanent an earlier rule allowing states “flexibility” in setting requirements for the amount of meat and grain allowed in school lunches.

Mrs. Obama was attending a luau in Maui with Oprah Winfrey and could not be reached for comment.

Okay, not that last part.


38 Responses to Let’s Move Starvation Program Suffers Setback

  1. The jillion dollar FatKidsBehinds program is now officially dead with this announcement. awww.
    The FirstLady’s “drink more water” program seems to have dribbled to a finish, too. hmmm.
    However, we have the wildly successful jillion dollar Obamacare, well, no we don’t .
    The alternate energy business project that cost us more jillions is sadly defunct, too.
    Shovel ready jillion dollar jobs are still not “shovel ready”.

    There is good news though; we can no longer buy the regular light bulbs or efficient toilets that wasted energy and water.
    Life is good here in the USA.

  2. This wretched woman should be reported to CPS for child endangerment and practicing medicine without a license. After that, she should be investigated by the DOJ for mis-appropriation of taxpayer funds and funneling billions to teachers unions and the SEIU via the school lunch program./
    How did she expect growing children to perform well in school on 600 calories per day? Is she insane? Technically, we could blame her for the overall decline in US reading/math scores world-wide.
    Thanfully, it appears that she has abandoned the children in favor of pursuing her lifestyle of the rich and famous. The chidren are safe…at least for now.

  3. I still can’t believe that a person with no background in nutrition could mandate what an entire nation of school kids must eat. And anyway, why isn’t it up to each state to determine what children will eat at school?

    Every project and program introduced by Mooch and Barry has been an abject failure.

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