As of now, I am in control here, in the White House

The Best of the Late Night Budget Jokes

Good morning. Some of these were pretty funny. And even a little more bipartisan than usual. Thought you might enjoy.

54 Responses to The Best of the Late Night Budget Jokes

  1. Thanks for the laughs, Keith! My favorite is the one comparing the Obamacare “glitches” with a florist not realizing when Valentine’s Day happens.

  2. I confess: I’m too old, over the hill, a dinosaur, out of touch. I don’t know who most of those people are and didn’t catch the “funny” in some of the clips. \
    What I did get from the modern court-jesters is that SenCruz is responsible for shutting down the government and putting barry-cades in front of our memorials. Also, it’s OK to point at and ridicule Joe Biden now.
    The “Repub” President would have been skewered unmercifullly for the shutdown that caused the garden to go to pot, for closing the park sidewalks, and trying to close the ocean, while sitting on the floor of the OvalOffice crying “i want everything”.

      • Please watch, you might get a different view than i did.

        Now that it’s over, the jokes and skits just write themselves. Refusing to allow citizens to LOOK AT MtRushmore, barry-cading sidewalks, taking handles off of drinking fountains and all the rest of the ridiculous actions taken against the people.

        A different climate, a different president, and a non-partisan media would have changed the outcome of whatever it was that just happened in DC.
        Now we know that MrObama could do those things with impunity and cover from the Press, and that thousands of Americans employed by our own government would follow those idiotic orders should be setting off alarms all over the place.

          • Your question was probably rhetorical, but it’s also one of my pet peeves.
            When a person doesn’t have any self confidence or moral compass, they will follow anyone. Many times on this site they have been referred to as sheeple. The manifestation of “bieber fever” and other afflictions shows how shallow and devoid so many have become. I look at these people with great disdain.
            And I repeat “those who can not think and speak for themselves will surely be victimized by those who would do it for them.”

        • Okay, I watched it. Your synopsis was spot on, srdem. Agree there should be alarm bells sounding, but there seems to be no Patriots left in this leviathan government who are willing to answer the call to action.

          All these attacks on Senator Cruz by state-run media and their court jesters have certainly brought out the sickos. One such malcontent threatened Senator Cruz on Twitter and even posted his family’s home address in Houston. Doesn’t seem like law enforcement is taking those threats seriously, since the twisted twitterer’s threats with the address of the Cruz family are still posted for the world to see.

          • Over at Newsbusters, they say the Kos peeps are saying Republicans are smearing poo on walls–at a certain pt, these comments say more about the commenter than the commentee.

          • If the “sicko” is arrested (highly unlikely) and he was my son, I would have his attorney claim that the POTUS encouraged him to attack SenCruz with every speech that accused him of being a bad person.

            There are a lot of people who have become so invested, or enthralled by BarackObama as a man, that it could be a form of hypnosis.
            Just a few days ago, MrJohnson, the newly nominated head of HLS, pledged his “loyalty” to MrObama; what? since when is loyalty to a single person, no matter his office, a criteria test for holding a job. Things like this bring up comparisons of marxist regimes that demand loyalty to the person, not the people or country.

          • I heard that loyalty pledge on the local news last night and it raised the hair on the back of my neck. I remember the 2008 election and the young glassy-eyed Obots enraptured by their chosen one’s every word. America better wake up from her trance before his totalitarian transformation of this country is complete.

          • And he has small children. This is a lawless country — from privacy to DHS refusal to implement the laws.

            Congress makes the laws and they have oversight. If the laws are not enforced we have a total undermining of our system. This is going nowhere good.

            And while I really appreciate the comic relief Keith it is a sad day when a comedian making fun of the government is seen by us all as some crumbling of our own Berlin wall

    • I used to be a huge fan of late night political humor and it really has gotten lame. It’s not you srdem, it wasn’t funny. I checked out the video, it was compiled by The Washington Post gang of Obama lapdogs.

  3. NBC news reported yesterday that the Feds took down the Obamacare site, again.
    I think our military vets know an acronym that’s for this kind of screwy screw-up.

    I’d like to laugh at this example of Dem expertise in governing, but my children and grandchildren are stuck in this horrible place with either no health insurance or the inability to buy insurance. As if the demands that this poorly thought-out low weren’t bad enough, our government, from the President all the way down to the wonks responsible for this, is lying about the problems.
    They claim they don’t know how many people have actually been insured, don’t know how to judge the subsidies, and are avoiding any kind of honest assesment of the future of this law.

    If the website and all it’s hooks had worked as planned, if millions of young and fit millenials had signed up for health insurance, and another set of millions had been given subsidies to help pay for this health insurance, it would still fall flat on it’s face for many reasons.
    The variables in the payment of premiums that would vary according to job or income status, the absolute certainty of fraud on both ends, and the scarcity of health care providers are just a few of the reasons to believe that this massive program can’t work.

    Aside from the opponents attaching the name “Obamacare” to the ACA that insured the fiasco would stick to the Dems, the President was incredibly stupid and mule-headed not to agree to a one-year delay on the rollout.
    SenCruz gave MrObama the same face-saving grace that Russia’s Putin gave him on the Syrian red-line mess, but for whatever political reason, a gift from a communist seemed to be better received than a gift from an American Repub.

    • They did. They gave him an out or at least a time-out. I just read somewhere that 7 out of 10 people aren’t even aware that they will be involved with Obamacare in one way or another.

      • Everybody is supposed to be enrolled in some kind of health insurance policy by December 15th. The IRS will start cracking down on the slackers after that. Armed IRS agents making the LIVs an offer they can’t refuse is sure to give them a rude awakening.

        • Everybody is supposed to be enrolled in some kind of health insurance policy by December 15th.

          When they first started this stuff, I wondered about some fellows I saw on a rickety deck in the bayou watching my tour boat pass–how are they getting onboard? Now I worry about the nice dad in the family of four who works at the insurance agency on the corner and who has been handed the phone number of the exchange in his state and told to get with it..

      • That figure isn’t surprising at all. It’s been proposed that this law was designed to fail so that the government could impose the single-payer system, but it just doesn’t seem right or even practical. A national healthcare system such as imposed on our friends the Brits wouldn’t work in such a diverse and populous country as the US.

        If we look beyond the failure of the website, and the ignorance of a lot of the people who don’t understand their obligations, the one thing that is positve is that our treasury will be flush with the special “tax” that will be withheld at the end of the year. It’s been announced that it’s to be @$95 per adult, or (and this is the big “or”) @1% of a taxpayers gross income.
        That @1% for a couple earning $50K could be an extra $1,000 in the IRS goody bag.
        It would be in the government’s best interest for millions of workers NOT to be insured as it would increase the amount of money needed to cover subsidies for the working poor, or for those on Medicaide.
        The perfect wealth re-distrubution plan.
        Or, just more slush money for MrObama to pass out to his cronies. Who knows.

    • Bravo, srdem. The only people who seem to be happy with this monstrosity of a health insurance scam are those who have been given waivers by dictatorial fiat, or the soon to be waivered unions. Your Syria-Obamacare analogy is spot on. What does it tell us when our own president harbors more animosity against his fellow Americans than he does foreign dictators?

    • The Treasury Department has a long history of enforcing the law (I don’t know if Alexander Hamilton had T-Men à la Eliot Ness), as does the NPS. DHS is the (relative) newbie, but isn’t
      it an amalgamation of mostly other law enforcment agencies?

      • Yes Mandy you are correct. I was speaking about the tendency to use them in ways that are more extreme than in the past. I am not comfortable with the IRS sharing information, influencing elections or being used to enforce collection of the Obamacare mandate.

        As for the NPS, barricading open air sites belonging to Americans is crossing the line. And picking and choosing who and what to barricade makes what should be a non political department political.

        As for the DHS when it refuses to enforce the immigration laws and determines that it will now focus on terrorism inside the US I am uncomfortable with that, particularly in light of the use of drones and the nominee’s support of drones against Americans. And more particularly because the tone of the left, including those in government, against conservatives is talking about terrorists, economic treason etc.

        Paramilitary might have been a stretch, although I was careful to check the definition and I did not mean to imply that the use of these organization was new. To further refine my thinking I suppose I was thinking about the use of these governmental arms for political purposes and the fact that they are also armed.

        • I don’t blame the rank-and-file agents. I blame their political bosses.

          I’ve often asked myself if I could remain employed by the federal government under this vengeful asshole. I try to put myself in the shoes of someone who has 15 years in service to the government, someone who has a family to support, a retirement to plan, and the like.

          OTOH, what about my duty to uphold the Consitution? Has anyone with authority held that what’s being done is unconstitutional? Absent such authority, what would I do if I decided that what is being done violated my oath?

          Quit, and lose my pension? Lose the health insurance for my family?

          Stay on and focus on doing what I can to ameliorate the bullshit coming from the White House and my agency?

          • We go miles on this. But won’t.

            Some of the “rank and file” in any authoritarian system with a burgeoning bureaucracy themselves become petite tyrants. They are throughout history and common place today in so many ways.

            What would I do is always a tough question. I am Catholic — how much courage would I have?

            That said, ICE has been screaming for help from Rubio and others to be heard about immigration — so many border agents — and yet no one of import calls them or uses them. So, I do think there are voices that see laws broken, unenforced and the Constitution trampled daily and they have yet to be considered by the people that can help them. These people by and large, the Congress, are part of the problem.

            Congressional accountability and oversight has failed in so many ways. Yet I do give Issa credit for soldiering on — but now we need subpoenas, and jail time.

          • I know many federal workers–they are fine people, moral–this is a facet of their job, putting up with appointee and electee behavior that affects the Am people. They also are in the line of fire of being laid off for periods. We can’t expect them to quit–they know this will pass, it always does.

  4. I found none of the videos at all funny. In my opinion, Cruz is one of the few patriots in our Senate and Congress. He wasn’t responsible for shutting down the government, Obama was. When a president and the Senate Leader says send us a clean bill or I will veto it…that sounds like threats and no compromise. As we all saw, it is evident what this president really thinks about our veterans and the little people. Since he thinks he is far above everyone else, he doesn’t think he has to negotiate with anyone. Senators Like McCain and Congressmen King thinks its good to put down another member of the same party, then I hold them to blame for the fracture of the Republican party. I find it hard to say anything good about the democrats but they do stick together regardless of their own opinions…

    • You didn’t think the bit about the government not being prepared for 10/1 is the same as the FTD not being prepared for Valentine’s Day funny?

    • “I find it hard to say anything good about the democrats but they do stick together regardless of their own opinions…”

      You’re right about that! The GOP has been riven by internecine conflict since I can’t remember when.

      Is the GOP about a return to the Constitution, with emphases on individual freedom of conscience, and the freedom of the marketplace? Or is it about refusing to vote for someone who doesn’t pass the litmus test on someone’s religious beliefs–or, the lack thereof–about reproduction and government-sponsored prayer?

      The Left has organized its conquest of the world according to the principles of Antonio Gramsci. It’s a gradual movement, and it began before Gramsci was born.

  5. Off topic, but I just read an interesting article in American Spectator by Christopher Orlet, ” The improbable return of the family farm”. He writes that he can see a subtle shift in the demographics, Americans are getting back to the land. He calls them “the New Agrarians”, they have found a niche in organic farming. These people look for a simple life, time for family , freedom. Maybe it is some protest of the limited freedom in Obamaland.
    I can see a strong trend towards organic farming here as well. Even people without land, want to cultivate their little plots, grow their own tomatoes. I think it´s a wonderful “trend”, I hope it will stay.