As of now, I am in control here, in the White House

Shutdown Blues: Carney Answering his Own Phone

In a stunning development, with the government shutdown having removed the young aides who take his calls, White House Press Secretary Jay Carney has been left to answer his own phone.

According to Politico, White House staff trimming has forced “essential” workers like Carney to do the “nonessential” things that suddenly seem more “essential” than thought. Like answering the phone, sending out press releases, and so forth.

Oops, that's the phone ringing. We're going to have to wrap this up. Oops, that’s the phone ringing. We’re going to have to wrap this up.
Photo by Keith Koffler
The problem pervades the White House. The Council of Economic Advisors, for example, is down to four employees from two dozen, though given the CEA’s performance, it may not make much of a difference. Actually, we might soon be seeing some positive effects.

I will say, snarkiness aside, that the White House press secretary’s job is one of the most difficult in town. The press secretary must not only brief, but attend meetings so he knows what’s going on, offer communications advice, and deal with reporters, who are not easy to deal with.

I can of course hear all of you now are shedding real tears for Jay. I realize he is bound to make millions after departing the White House, he may return to a future Democratic administration in a more senior position, he’s known to try to curtail speech by bullying reporters, and he spends large portions of his busy day  figuring out how to obscure and contort facts.

But he’s also a true believer in liberal principles – not a cynic – a dedicated worker who misses his children, and for better or worse, he’s effective at his job.

So I’ll do him a favor and not give out his phone number.

22 Responses to Shutdown Blues: Carney Answering his Own Phone

  1. Good afternoon this is Michelle at the white house, who do you want to speak to?

    BARACK!!!!!! TELEPHONE!!!!!!!!

    He will be with you in a sec……..

  2. There isn’t a principled bone in the Carney Barker’s body, in my opinion. Alinskyite’s don’t have principles other than seizing power and control by any means necessary. Sure they love their own children, but they could care less about the children of the citizens this regime is trying to subjugate.

  3. I say let’s ride this thing out without all the nonessential “folks” – I’m sure all the work will still get done, probably more efficiently and effectively.

    Junior can just get used to answering his own phone…welcome to the real world.

  4. Obama sitting for portrait today which is ok because the essential President Ferret is in charge. And I am taking bets that she has essential phone answerers and staff. Sucks to be you Jay.

  5. If all these people are non-essential, why do we pay them to begin with? Maybe the House could send over a bill permanently furloughing these employees. Major corporations do this every single day.

  6. darn it Keith, how’d you know I was about to ask for his number?

    I know he’s your colleague, but I myself have no sympathy for Carney. I can remember back to Ron Ziegler in the Nixon administration, and I’ve never heard a press secretary lie so much, and so poorly, as Jay does.

    he could take lessons from Susan Rice. now THAT is a polished liar. I could watch the videos of her explaining Benghazi on those Sunday talk shows over and over again!

  7. OMG, Carney has to answer his own phone! World is coming to end. Does anybody in this world feel sorry for this guy, who seems to lie all the time.

  8. On the NWS’ site:

    This site will remain accessible during the federal government shutdown. However, information on the site may not be up to date and we may not be able to respond to inquiries until appropriations are enacted.

  9. Were I Carney, I wouod never sleep, consider the pap he shells out daily.

    That gives him more time to be with his children.

    He also probably gains time with the kids by never looking himself in the eye in a mirror.

    What a weasel.

  10. Help me understand this, Keith. If the furloughed federal workers are going to be paid back pay while not working, how is this saving money? They are going to be paid anyway so why not have them doing something for the money? Sounds like welfare recipients. Although, I would just as soon see “nonessential” workers be fired and save even more!!

  11. I say Carney is paid too much and never should have any staff for just coming out every now and then for lying to the citizens.

  12. Carney doesn’t need an aide. He makes a really good salary and so far the only thing I know he does is coming before the press every now and then and lie to the American people.