As of now, I am in control here, in the White House

George Washington Impersonator Appointed Secretary of Energy

Famed George Washington impersonator Ernest Moniz was nominated by President Obama today to be Secretary of Energy.

Ernest Moniz
Ernest Moniz

Moniz, a physicist whose likeness to Washington was first noticed at the age of 13 when he chopped down a cherry tree and immediately admitted culpability, will, if confirmed, replace departing Energy Secretary Stephen Chu.

Moniz is known for doing private parties and scaring first graders. Hoteliers throughout the country are so confused by his likeness to the first president that they are known to put placards up outside his room reading, “Ernest Moniz slept here.”

Moniz recently told an interviewer for Physicists’ World magazine that he actually kept the cherry tree he chopped down and later used it to make his own teeth.

George Washington
Ernest Moniz?

Obama’s appointment of Moniz has stirred some concern on Capitol Hill, however, because of reports Moniz occasionally seems to believe he really is George Washington.

Walking past the the office of Senate Energy & Natural Resources Committee Chairman Ron Wyden (D-Ore.) last week, Moniz was heard muttering to himself “Boy, we really did kick some Hessian butt that day.”

Reached comment Moniz, would only say, “Ask Madison, ask Madison” and hung up.

And BTW, other than that Obama appointed Moniz and he looks like he does, YES, THIS IS A JOKE.

27 Responses to George Washington Impersonator Appointed Secretary of Energy

  1. Keith,

    It is getting really sad that you have to put a disclaimer in on a humor post. I love the fact the Matt links to you frequently, the exposure has to be worth a ton, but having to EXPLAIN what satire is, is so sad.

    It’s a good thing that Swift is not alive today, for the left would hang him out to dry in the Twitterespher, and other unsocial media sites.

    When is Obama going to appoint a Lincoln or TR look a like?

    • Unfortunately I’ve had stories picked up that were obvious satire by people who only read the headline, and then suddenly it gets all over the place. Drudge hasn’t done this but others have.

        • Oh, so true. Druge is linking to MrsObama’s video wherein she reminds the children to make sure their dog is eating “right” and gets enough exercise. The comments are brutal and seriously disgruntled.
          They don’t see the humor of the FirstLady becoming a parody of herself, and making a farce of her “Let’s Move” effort: c’mon – excercise your dog? Dogs don’t eat “right” for pete’s sake, they will eat anything at all, right or left..


          • Google which I avoid like the plague is Michelle’s new platform. I heard also –rumor?– that there will be foodstamps for pets. Once he is in shape I assume BO will be trotted out as the WH expert on pet health. Darn! Now my dog is going to want to know how come he has to ride around in the car while BO gets a great big plane!

          • I agree with the comments re Drudge posting Moochelle’s video. I wish he hadn’t done it, especially as he doesn’t accept comments. Someone is paying Google, not the Obamas, but either the taxpayer or OFA. In case of the latter, it is administration propaganda.

          • Drudge also has a link to a story where Michelle tells kids who live in unsafe neighborhoods to exercise indoors. Yeah, all those apartments have a gym in the basement…and the apartments are big enough to go jogging in. Where is Jack LaLanne when you need him?? Ok, so he is dead, but you get my point, right?

        • Star – I disagree with the gist of what you say – many of my readers came from the Drudge Report, and I do like my readers and find most of them to have a pretty good sense of humor!

  2. Good article as always!!!

    Sad thing is, there isn’t anyone in DC these days who is even worthy to walk in GW’s shadow!

    I’m confident that all the founding fathers are rolling over in their graves and they want their country back!

  3. Being from Oregon and aware of how much Wyden has done for the state in his years in the Senate (that is a joke too), I suspect the Senator stepped out of his office into the hall and agreed wholeheartedly with Moniz.

  4. Not sure why the left is so humorless when it comes to satire. Have to say the only resemblance I see between the two is the hair. Also heard Moniz is a fracking fan. That is sure going to put a bee in the bonnet of the environazi’s.

    • He’s a fracker? And likes nuclear power? Dear God if he is in favor of oil exploration too……..Wait, I am asking for too much. Forgive me, Dear Leader……..

  5. Nothing the circus clowns in the WH can do would surprise me anymore – that’s what sad about this satire – it could just as easily be true.

  6. “Sec. of Energy” = I WANT MY OWN “Backyard Nuclear Reactor”…
    What is wrong with that?

    The USA needs to really ‘Research Atomic/Nuclear Energy’.
    (We could ‘Power’ the World… and fly to the Planets & Stars…)

  7. “Moniz, a physicist whose likeness to Washington was first noticed at the age of 13 when he chopped down a cherry tree and immediately admitted culpability…” – Keith Koffler

    NO ONE who EVER “admitted culpability” would be allowed in the same BUILDING as Obama!

    Here’s the liberal take on personal blame…

    “The second item in the liberal creed, after self-righteousness, is unaccountability. Liberals have invented whole college majors–psychology, sociology, women’s studies–to prove that nothing is anybody’s fault. No one is fond of taking responsibility for his actions, but consider how much you’d have to hate free will to come up with a political platform that advocates killing unborn babies but not convicted murderers. A callous pragmatist might favor abortion and capital punishment. A devout Christian would sanction neither. But it takes years of therapy to arrive at the liberal view.” – P.J. O’Rourke