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Top Ten Lines from Joe Biden’s Convention Speech

One of Vice President Biden’s many female groupies is actually an informant for White House Dossier, and has provided the publication with a draft copy of Biden’s Democratic convention address. What follows are the top ten lines Biden will deliver Wednesday evening in Charlotte, North Carolina:

1. It’s great to be here in South Carolina!

2. I accept your nomination to be president of the United States.

3.. Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan plan to send y’all to Liberia!

4. Is there a delicatessen nearby? Does anybody in the house have a sandwich?

5. Everybody’s says Paul Ryan is such a smarty pants. Well let me tell you something Mr. Ryan: You don’t need to be that smart to be vice president!

6. Some people wrongly suggest I’m senile and have started forgetting things! Some people wrongly suggest I’m senile and have started forgetting things!

7. Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what your country can . . . ask what . . oh, Jesus, forget it.

8. It’s time now for a moment of silence in memory of one of the greatest football players of all time, Mr. Red Grange.

9. I’ll never believe it was Yoko Ono who broke up the Beatles. I’ll just never believe it.

10. I got the music in me. I got the music in me. I got the mu-sic-in-me . . . .


Are there any other lines that you’re aware of?

38 Responses to Top Ten Lines from Joe Biden’s Convention Speech

  1. Let’s all support our native-American candidate for the senate Faux,er LizWarren.
    Man, those Repubs are not like us at all; they want people to take care of themselves.
    Hey, I never carried a lunch bucket like you guys, my Dad owed a Cadillac dealership.
    We need to reelect BarackObama because his pants are always pressed.

    I might be a Catholic, but I believe any woman should be able to have an abortion; after all if a woman brings a child into this world she should have the right to take them out.

    • I just can’t stop………….
      I’m older than he is, I should be the one in charge. I’m not stupid like everyone says, I’m smart.

      We need to give amnesty to illegal Mexicans because they’ll do the jobs that White men won’t do and we can pay them less money, too.

      This election will prove that BarackObama is just as popular as Obamacare.

  2. No additions, can’t top these – just want to say how much I enjoy these things, they make me laugh. Now I’m waiting for the commercial about “one heartbeat away”.

      • They may use speech authentication for launching missiles now, and I don’t know what the voice recognition software would do when it got an expletive between each letter/number. Also, given his history of plagarism, he would likely just recite the launch codes from the ’80’s movie “War Games”. Even if not, were you the guy holding the “football”, wouldn’t you be likely to remove the real contents and put an old copy of Playboy and a bottle of vodka in it to keep Uncle Joe amused, rather than risk Armageddon? If you were in a silo, would you REALLY accept targeting instructions for “every G%$^&*am, F@#$^ing Republican’s house, especially that B&%ch Ba^$&rd Paul Ryan’s”?

        They ain’t got ALL the checks out of the system yet! Maybe in four more years…

  3. Along with the readers’ comments add:
    #11. Hope everybody enjoyed their free bus rides here plus just a reminder that if you didn’t get your bag of “freebies” or your DNC paycheck for all attendees, please raise your hand!

    #12. All lunch orders for WH Beer & Pizza must be made before 8 am! Use one of the free vouchers found in your bag!

  4. The gifts from the Dems just keep on giving;
    MayorEmanual brought 50 Chicago policemen with him to make sure this convention goes as smoothly as the 1968 convention.

    Rahm brought 50 Chicago policemen with him to make sure no Chik-a-fil employees get past security to contaminate the conventioneers.

    The Mayor of Chicago brought 50 Chicago policemen with him to Charlotte to help keep the citizens safe, just like they do in their home town.

      • I can see it now!!! She would be wearing a red and black burqa with an ENORMOUS bustle!!! (Oops, wait. That wasn’t a bustle!!!) Now THAT would be fashion-FORWARD (To Socialism)!!

        Sorry, even THINKING about Biden gets me to babbling!!!

      • I would LOVE to see Michelle Antonette go to Iran and speak “truth to power” to Mahmound Ahmadinejad! We’d not have to worry about her again for a good loooong time!

        Ever notice she doesn’t flap her considerable jibs in Muslim lands? Even less so in Iran, seeing as how Hubby is Sunni and they’re Shiite…

  5. I just returned from a rally in Greenville, NC with Paul Ryan. Wow, he is wonderful!

    He spoke without a teleprompter, from his heart, and gave five valid reasons why we should vote for the R&R team. And with NO negative comments.

    We are so lucky to have him on our side. A true American who believes in our great country!!

    • That is a major key. Five things. Any more and it will confuse the average american. Here are the five things we are going to do or change in our first year; then bam bam bam bam bam. But you have to follow it up with “what this means for you is more jobs, better pay, lower taxes, lower energy prices, and a brighter future for you and your children!”

    • Keith:

      How come, for the past week or 10 days, every time I post a comment to your blog it downloads a .php file to my computer?

  6. “Y’all need to elect Barak so you can find out how flexible he REALLY can be! I don’t know about him and Putin, but I walked in on him and Rahm one day… HEY, WHO TURNED MY FU$*#& MICROPHONE OFF!”

  7. #13 “Hey Ted C’mon up here and say a few words” Wait What Teddy K isn’t here! Where the hell is he? O Geez I’m sorry Mary Jo I mean Ethel
    Er Um

    • You forgot Joan. Don’t cry for Teddy, though, I’m sure he and Joan and the rest of the Kennedy clan that have gone to their, uh, “reward”, are still staunch Democrat voters in several states!