As of now, I am in control here, in the White House

Top Ten Reasons Obama Kept Biden on the Ticket

It’s a mystery to some, given Vice President Biden’s propensity for stunning mistakes, why President Obama is keeping him on the ticket.

But White House Dossier, after sending bottles of Johnnie Walker Black to every member of the White House staff, has obtained the exclusive list of reasons why Obama is sticking with Biden.

What follows are the top ten of those reasons.


1. Biden remarks to Obama every morning how handsome he looks today.

2. He tells Obama everything he does is a “gutsy move.”

3. Biden promised to have a red light implanted on his forehead that turns on every time he is about to say something stupid.

4. Obama hopes Biden will help with voters who don’t speak English.

5. Biden has a copy of Obama’s college transcripts.

6. Biden threatened to strip down to his underwear and commit hari-kari in front of the Air and Space Museum.

7. The only 3 am phone call Obama gets is Biden sobbing to keep his job.

8. Biden promised to eat fish three times a week to improve brain function.

9. He promised to campaign mostly in Guam.

10. Michelle really likes Biden’s comb over.


Are there any that you have happened to hear?

55 Responses to Top Ten Reasons Obama Kept Biden on the Ticket

    • What are we here, playground companions in the sand? I say no, and respectfully disagree with the fundamental premise of your statement.

      • To bad you don’t like it, go pound sand for all I care. Biden said it and in doing so is deservedly ridiculed for the pompous, braying ass that he is. He’s nothing more than a useful idiot for his socialist boss and the leftist agenda, sorry for you if you can’t figure it all out for yourself. Or are you a socialist dem wanna-be too? Maybe you bought into all that hopey, changey crap and it’s just soooo hard to let it go. Lie after lie after lie, what’s it going to take for you people to wake up and see these scum for what they are? Have a great day, Brovadic.

  1. ‘Tis strange,-but true; for truth is always strange;

    Stranger than fiction: if it could be told,

    How much would novels gain by the exchange!

    How differently the world would men behold

    Lod Byron-“Don Juan” 1823

  2. Biden (Joe Bidet in the book “Lost in Zombieland”) can get away with saying things Obama wants to say but can’t in public: Plausible Deniability. Although, based on his own actions, Biden might also claim that with his own gaffes.

  3. They told VPBiden that the ‘real’ convention will be in Tampa next week, so he’s made plans to attend that one.

    VPBiden makes MrO look smart by comparison.

    VPBiden insures that no one in Congress would dare impeach MrO.

    MrO laughs while he watches videos of VPBiden at night instead of Jay Leno

  4. I hear Crazy Uncle Joe will be in Tampa next week during the GOP convention, going against the traditional practice of the opposition laying low for a few days. Of course the MSM thinks it’s great!

    Imagine if Dick Cheney did that to the Dems…the MSM would be having a major meltdown.

    • The Obama bunch get away with anything since the only jobs they’ve
      created are the drooling and tingling meda still carrying their water.
      Yes if Cheney had done it they’d be having seizures but I think it shows
      desperation and they are so thin skinned and needy pathetic.

  5. 11. He babysits the kids when MO goes on her Target runs….

    Sadie, I think you just struck the ‘mother lode’! Eureka!!

    While reading this jaw-dropping analysis, I remember reading something a few years ago about the Junior Senator Obama referring to his colleagues as ‘old geezers’ – musing how he was going to ‘roll over’ all of them and take the Presidency. I remember laughing at the absurdity of it all -, “Good luck, you cocky little twit”, I thought to myself.

    Mr. Greenfield is dead on – Obama is using the ‘old geezer’, Biden, to mock us while he busies himself with becoming the First Post-America President! He is not only dangerous – he is diabolical. This is chilling!

    • Girly, glad you took the time to read Greenfield. I have several goto places daily, here of course, because Keith and all the voices here are so damn clever,astute, witty and just as p.o,’d as I am.

      As for diabolical and evil and extra chilling, the link below at American Thinker is a jaw-dropper.
      •Will Obama Keep Power ‘by Any Means Necessary’?

    • Nah. Biden’s his wing man when Rahm can’t make it to the bath house, but they don’t want to complicate their own relationship with sex. Besides, can you imagine O committing to anyone but himself? Other than that sham thing with his beard, Michelle, anyway…

  6. Reason #13 : Moochelle and Obozo are videotaping their Court Jester Joe and will be submitting the tapes to America’s Funniest Home Videos for a chance @ the $100,000 Grand Prize money.

    • Silly person, 100k wouldn’t even pay for Obama’s Chicago chef!

      Besides, what does Shelly need with money when she has yours? And they could splice a pretty hilarious tape of her husban saying things that could keep any audience in stitches, like;

      “The private sector’s doing fine” (Badump-bump!)
      “Shovel ready wasn’t as shovel ready as we thought” (Zing!)
      “It’s not a tax”(Whoop!)
      “I believe that marriage is between a man and a woman” (BOOM!)
      “Tell Vladimir I will have more flexibilty after the election” (TWEET!)
      “I’m a uniter” (Whizz!)
      “If I don’t have this done in three years, then there’s going to be a one-term proposition” (HAHAHAHAHA!)
      Yep, the hilarity just keeps on coming! But the best by far is this:
      “I deserve a second term” (BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!)


      Doesn’t he kill on stage! Even the dead can’t resist him! My own father was a lifelong Republican until he died, now he’s votes Democrat!

  7. 11. Biden executes the various Axelrod strategies of race-baiting and low brow personal attacks to get the message out to their base constituencies while allowing Obama to remain above the fray (i.e., I don’t think Romney killed the man’s wife while at Bain, I don’t think anyone accused Romney of being a felon…) despite repeating all of the same accusations.

  8. Agree, NCSU68! And Bill certainly would not play second fiddle to MOOshelle. Barry and Lavaughn become invisible when Hillary and Bill are in the room. Can hardly wait to see Bubba steal Obama’s thunder at the convention!

  9. You missed the most important one. Biden is Obama’s best secret service member. Who would possibly hurt Obama knowing we would be left with Joe as our president?

  10. 1. Biden is the only person dumber than Obama.

    2. Biden’s stupid remarks make Obama look smart.

    3. Obama does not know that Biden makes stupid remarks.

    4. Obama hopes Biden will confuse voters who speak English so they will not recognize Obama’s lies.

    5. Biden paid for Obama’s forged birth certificate.

    6. Biden brings honesty to Obama’s lies.

    7. Biden keeps reminding Obama that “It’s 3 am – do you know what time it is?”

    8. Biden replaced Monica and eats Obama’s dog.

    9. Biden was actually born in Hawaii.

    10.Biden is the only one who does not realize Obama and Mooch hate America.


  11. Who else can go out and call republicans ‘slavers’ without the media even picking up on it? His gaffs are strategically planted and come with a (duh) layer of insulation from the president.

  12. Biden reassures Obama daily that he is still “Clean and articulate for a black guy” even as he wallows in the mud of the campaign season.

  13. Here’s the inside scoop on the rumor Hilary becoming the VP candidate and Joe stepping down. Obama promised Joe he would appoint Biden to a new cabinet position of VI (Village Idiot). Joe’s only question was Which village?

  14. Almost every item helping middle class was originated by Democrats.
    Google:clarence swinney + 82 Democrats for list
    From 1945-1980 Democrats built a great Middle Class
    Affordable education via GI Bill—Affordable Housing via local owned S&L–
    Affordable Health care by shared cost with employer

    1980-2009—Enrich the rich Republicans
    20 years in power by 3 presidents
    Reagan started with 60% tax cut for rich
    The Three did this:
    Destroyed S&L—Fairness Doctrine-Revenue Sharing—increased 600B budget to 3500B(less wjc itsy)–increased 1000B Debt to 10,000B—Took surplus to 1400B Deficit—Took Carter record job creation of 218,000 per month to 99,000—Initiated our involvement in 10 foreign conflicts where hundreds of thousands lost their innocent lives—smashed our Housing Industry—Transferred wealth to top 10% who now own 73% net wealth—83% financial wealth—get 50% individual income—70,000,000 hard workers get 14%

    A vote for a Republican in Washington is a Vote to destroy the middle class
    clarence swinney political historian

  15. Has anyone ever suggested… life insurance? Who would ever do the amateur wrong if, at the last moment, he or she thought they were taking Joe to POTUS?