Many of you may already have read the incredible news, WHICH I AT FIRST THOUGHT MUST BE A PARODY, that the Obama campaign had asked to be placed on people’s registries!
Here’s a screen shot of the request from the Obama 2012 website.
What few people realize is that this was actually the most acceptable of several similar unconventional fundraising tactics the Obama campaign considered deploying.
White House Dossier, through its network of paid sources within the Obama campaign, has unconvered a list of sample messages to donors proposing various other ideas for having them part with their money. We print for you here the top ten very personal fundraising pleas that were rejected by the Obama campaign.
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1. Going to church this Sunday? When they pass the hat, reach in, take the money out, and send it to President Obama.
2. Did your rich uncle recently pass away? Please consider donating a portion of your inheritance in his name to the Obama campaign.
3. Do you yourself have a terminal illness? Make sure your will reflects your commitment to President Obama.
4. Are you one of the few people who shorted Facebook? Don’t forget the Obama campaign. And pick up some Nicorette for him.
5. Planning on robbing a 7-11 this week? Please remember to share a portion of the loot with President Obama.
6. Counting cards in Las Vegas? Don’t forget to share some of the winnings with your president.
7. Running a pyramid scheme for your financial clients? Please send the Obama campaign a portion of the “investments” before the scheme collapses.
8. You know your children don’t keep track of the money in their checking accounts. Remove half of it and send it to President Obama.
9. Planning to kill someone for the insurance money? Assuming you get away with it, please donate a share of the proceeds to Obama 2012.
10. Tired of being criticized for being in the “one percent”? Take a moment to donate enough to the Obama campaign so that you can boast that you are merely a member of the “two percent.”
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Have you heard any we might not be aware of?
100 thoughts on “Top Ten Rejected Obama Fundraising Schemes”
Did you recently receive a government handout or any indirect assistance from the 50% of the Americans who actually pay income tax? Consider giving a kickback to the Obama campaign. Laissez les bon temps roulez!
I have heard of several other ideas that were floated around:
1. When you get change back from from using your EBT Food Stamp card..send it to Obama…it’s his money anyway.
2. When the pizza guy delivers the pizza, show him the tip and say, “Sorry but the Prez needs this more than you.”
3. All business owners are required to lay-off three (3) people and send that savings to Obama. Since you haven’t done anything to deserve your ill-gotten gain, and you didn’t build this business anyway, you need to work harder and stop complaining about everything.
4. All Military personnel are required to eat MRE’s ( meals that are ready to eat) whether they are stateside or serving overseas. Also, please limit the ammo you carry to 5 rounds. This makes the fight more “fair” and will help change the attitude of those trying to kill you.
5. GM and Jeep/Chrysler dealers need to send those rebate checks back to Obama and not give them to their customers who purchase a new vehicle. Just remember who saved your hairy butt anyway.
6. All children/parents who open or wish to open a lemonade stand (or other immoral capitalistic endeavor) will now be offered an opportunity to share in the historic re-election of our first half-black President (see Morgan Freeman comments). You have a choice of sending your profits for the next ten years to the president or purchasing an Obama Peddlers License for $2500.00.
7. Burger King will be required to change their motto from ” Have it your way” to “Have it Michelle’s way or pay a fine of $20.00” All fines are sent to the Presidents re-election fund.
8. A little glitch in the Affordable Health Care Act was that everyone facing surgery will only receive 1/2 the amount of anesthesia required. Also, all hospitals are required to use only aspirin and a tongue depressor to bite on to alleviate the pain. All hospitals and surgery centers are required to send the savings from this new provision to the President. IMPORTANT*** If someone asks their Doctor about needing more pain medication they are to be told “Stop being such a wuss and grow a pair.”
9. All of the Hollywood Elite that promised to move to another country if President Bush was elected in 2000 and 2004 would you please go ahead and sell your homes, furnishing, etc and make that move immediately. Please send ALL of those proceeds to the President. No one will know or care you moved but you will have reduced your carbon footprint in Hollywood. Also, it allows Governor Brown to use your homes for the homeless and less fortunate.
10. From this date forward there will be a fine of $25.00 for every time someone OTHER THAN PRESIDENT OBAMA uses the term (whether Spoken or Written) “Blame President Bush”. This will generate untold millions from the President Obama’s most loyal subjects. I mean supporters.
Moyls! Just finished a bris? Don’t forget to send the …..tips to the Obama campaign!
11. Can’t convince your friends to vote democrat? Buy their vote and we will reimburse you! (only if we get re-elected and you are involved in a renewable energy firm, of course)
Obama suggests cash for his birthday gift, and plenty of it.
http://www.suntimes.com/news/sneed/14293087-452/obama-birthday-fund-raisers-here-to-get-police-protection.html
Is anyone concerned that O is massing huge amounts of weapons and stock piling billions of rounds of ammo, in and around DC. No one seems interested in questioning him. It just doesn’t smell right.We need an investigation now.
To David (below in earlier responses to this thread) – I can’t believe you just insulted, offended, (or whatever you libs call it these days) special needs individuals by calling people “retarded”.
You insensitive ass– really tough when the shoe is on the other foot. But I’m sure you never saw a double-standard you didn’t like (or use).
“To Make Government Bigger, Just Vote For The [you know what]”
“Caution: finishing this rhyme COULD get you bounced off obie’s solicitation list; if you’re lucky.”
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