As of now, I am in control here, in the White House

Top Ten Things Obama Will Do if Obamacare is Struck Down

White House Dossier through illegal methods has obtained a private list written by President Obama of the things he will do if the Supreme Court strikes down the Obamacare individual insurance mandate. The list is in Obama’s handwriting, and its authenticity has been verified by the accounting firm of Schmuckle, Portobello & Crumcake.

I present to you here the top ten items on the list.


1. Demand a recount

2. Ask for a Mulligan.

3. Lock self in Lincoln Bedroom with three freezers worth of  Dove Bars.

4. Invoke Sharia Law and say, “How do you like your Commerce Clause now, tough guy?”

5. Check to see if each justice fully punched their card, and remove any hanging chads.

6. Appoint six additional justices to the court and try again.

7. Try telling Scalia that if I had a son, he’d look like Scalia.

8. Cancel free subscription to Sports Illustrated I just bought for that ungrateful Anthony Kennedy

9. Rewrite law using spell check to replace the word “mandate” with “Please, if you don’t mind.”

10. Start promoting new top domestic policy accomplishment, The Lilly Ledbetter Act.


Got any you’ve heard about?

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83 Responses to Top Ten Things Obama Will Do if Obamacare is Struck Down

      • That must be the latest talking point issued by the central committee. For the last week, I’ve heard that statement from the mouth of every Obama supporter in every debate over the Obamacare court case.

        • Sorry guys they are right . It was a republican idea championed by the Heritage Foundation, Newt Gingrich and Romney. here’s a direct quote from Oct 2011 pres. debate.

          ROMNEY: OK. Let me ask, have you supported in the past an individual mandate?

          GINGRICH: I absolutely did with the Heritage Foundation against Hillarycare.

          ROMNEY: You did support an individual mandate?

          ROMNEY: Oh, OK. That’s what I’m saying. We got the idea from you and the Heritage Foundation.

          GINGRICH: OK. A little broader.

          ROMNEY: OK.

          • Yes, Obamacare was indeed largely based off Romneycare, just fluffed up to 3,000 pages of pork and entitlements. And that is why, for the first time in my life, I will probably not be casting a presidential vote this year (or at least throwing it away on a third party, whatever).

          • So let me get this straight Cpp. You appear not to support Obama. Yet, two of the three choices you have made with put him back in office. A no vote and a vote for a third party. So you are either a fraud or you secretly support Obama. Which of those do you want to be?

          • The big difference of Romneycare: it does FORCE people to do, or to buy, what they do not want.What is the opposite of the Obamacare, that wants to OBLIGATE people to do or to buy, what OBAMA thinks, “is good” for them. Besides,
            Romneycare DID NOT RISE TAXES, contrary to Obamacare.

  1. “I wouldn’t discount #6, that’s how we got Social Security.”

    This is not my comment…Someone is trying to put words in my mouthl lol…

  2. Thanks for the laugh, again.

    Let’s hope that all the Supremes understand that their job is to define the constitution and not worry about how much health care costs an individual.

  3. @Robin
    “Girly, it was me.

    And this time when I went to leave a comment it was a different name and email. Keith, not sure what’s up with your comments, AttackWatch maybe?”

    Anything is possible with AttackWatch – they have nothing better to do, lol!

  4. “But Putin thinks it’s a good idea!”
    “Does this mean my socialist agenda suffers a setback?”
    “Wait until Michelle returns from sweating in the East Room with the ‘Biggest Losers’ and hears this.”
    “How will I get braces for the kids teeth unless they are free?”
    “You (Supreme Court) are invited for a beer in the White House garden.”
    “Do I need to sick Al and Jesse on you guys?”

    • #12. Issue an Executive Order that Sec’y Sebelius and AG Holder sue the 50 State Attorneys and the American citizens using their tax-payers money to fund the suit! Oh, wait! BHO already has AG Holder suing the American citizens wasting more taxmonies! Wonder how much AG Holder has spent fighting the WILL of the people over the POTUS’ first and last term??

  5. @Star
    “Oh, man, this is a trip, huh? I still wonder if yesterday was all posturing and if the fix is in.”

    I’m thinking that’s the case…

  6. Report SCOTUS to Attack Watch.

    Block access to purchasing BFD T-shirts.

    Make them wear powdered wigs.

    They’ll have to participate in “sack races” with Michele.

    Arugula ONLY during oral arguments.

  7. Notice how we all take credit or correct statements and comments we make?
    What an unusual concept taking responsibility for you’re own words and actions. Shame Obama and his lemmings don’t do the same.

  8. Don’t be shocked if “something” happens to one of the conservative judges between now and when they make their ruling… then Obama gets to appoint a new justice… just sayin’

  9. Kieth,

    With all your satire as of late, I was concerned for your safety, and shared some of the links with my attorneys. They said if you need representation to contact them at Dewy, Cheatem and Howe at 900-We-Sue-4-U.

  10. 1. Issue an Executive Order

    2. Replace the Supreme Court with Czars.

    3. Post a forged Supreme Court Ruling on the White House Website.

    4. State that the Supreme Court Ruling is racist and that Eric Holder will sick the inJustice Department on ann those who fail to comply.

    5. Issue a directive that Homeland Security controls healthcare and that everyone who does not comply will get a rectal exam with a hand wand.

    6. Invite Spike Lee to do a film on the Racist Justices who ruled against the law.

    7. Seal all the records associated with the appeal of Obamacare.

    8. Intimidate Justice Anthony Kennedy by threatening to reveal that he is really Ted Kennedy’s clone.

    9. Rewrite history to show that the law was held constitutional.

    10. Have all copied of the decision printed with the word “FORGED” stamped on each page.

  11. #3 was Michelle’s idea and replace ‘dove bars’ with ‘TAMALES’. (Cinco de Mayo is next week and they have to show the Hispanics how they are just like them (and don’t forget to vote for Barack…)
    Yeah, I said it…I can because I’m Hispanic – I OWN IT!¡! :-)

  12. If Obamacare is shot down, and I pray to GOD it will be, the best thing for Obama to do is resign and avoid any further embarrassment to his family and to the nation. The likes of Reid and Piglosi should do the very same.

  13. whew! for a minute there I thought you’d post the real agenda: continue to incite the minorities to riot with accusations of “racists”, upon failing to be re-elected, incite nation-wide rioting, enforced with muslim terrorists in hiding in the U.S., further backed by Mexican Mafia assassination squads freely roaming across the border. . .enabling OBAMA and the DNC to “be forced” to declare Martial Law, suspend the election that OBAMA LOST, suspend the Constitution, and for the coup-de-grace. . .invite foreign invasionary forces in the guise of the “U.N.Peacekeepers” onto AMERICAN SOIL to seal the death and destruction of the United States of America. . .while OBAMA’s “Muslim Brotherhood” friends and IRAN simultaneously attack and destroy Israel. OBAMA WOULD BE READY TO PERSONALLY BEHEAD A MILLION JEWS IF HIS PLANS EVER SAW THE LIGHT OF DAY.

    • This is a satire column. Your post of actual potential possibilities is a real buzz kill–despite your attempt to make it satirical.

  14. My guess is that he’ll challenge the integrity of the court, deny the legitimacy of the ruling, and issue an executive order reinstating the mandate and all the rest of Obamacare. Or he’ll parse the court’s words as closely as possible in order to discover that the court really didn’t throw anything out. And I don’t mean any of the above as an attempt at humor.

  15. 10)Cry Racism
    9)Blame Zimmerman
    8)Smoke more crack
    7)Read a speech
    6)Wish he never killed his grandmother
    5)Spend money
    4)Organize and bus protesters to the judges residences
    3)Invite Tebow over for a prayer meeting and a beer
    2)spank his monkey
    1)Tell Michelle he is sorry he spanked her

  16. The first and most important thing he will do you forgot.

    He will certainly have a hissy fit, scream, holler and stomp his feet.

    Possibly allowing the lesbian woman to make another meaningless

    comment about Ann Romney and working Mothers…………….

    • I actually read this entire thread and couldn’t find a single intelligent argument against Obamacare. If you guys don’t get a little more serious, get informed, read the pros AND cons we will CRUSH you in November!
      – A political leftie from the Central Committee

  17. I believe without a doubt the whitehouse is removing bad press from utube and many other areas…not to mention NBC,CBS,ABC,FOX and all the liberal press outlets who don’t print or mention any bad press…not a word from the big 3 about the birth certificate.Some have been threatened with loss of jobs and worse. Union thugs use veiled threats against the children of these people. ANYBODY BUT OBAMA….WAKE UP AMERICA!

    • You are so right. I have posted several replies on youtube. I get pending approval. I can go back and it’s never posted. HMMM, makes one wonder. YES, WAKE UP AMERICA. VOTE in November. VOTE AMERICAN

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