As of now, I am in control here, in the White House

Top Ten Surprising Things Obama Told Netanyahu

White House Dossier has obtained a secret transcript of Monday’s meeting between President Obama and Israeli Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu. Obama said some startling things. It’s not clear to me that he really understood the significance of the meeting.

Anyway, here are the top ten things that jumped out at me. I think you will agree that Netanyahu was probably a little taken aback.


1. Would you like to go camping with me?

2. I’m sorry, you didn’t sign in for your appointment.

3. If you could be any vegetable, which one would it be?

4. What is Mossad telling you about the prospect of the Iranians delivering nuclear bombs via magic carpet?

5. You know I’ve got your back because I’ve already been talking behind it with Sarkozy.

6. My policy is prevention, not containment. Of course, I’m referring to Michelle’s shopping.

7. Don’t worry, I’ve got Biden on the case.

8. If you bomb Iran, what is your plan for minimizing the environmental damage?

9. Can you bomb Syria too? It’s on the way.

10. Okay, a rabbi, a mullah and a priest walk into a bar. The rabbi – wait, why are you looking at me like that? Have you heard this one before?

23 Responses to Top Ten Surprising Things Obama Told Netanyahu

  1. Regarding number one – When I read that all I could hear was banjo music and think of the movie “Deliverance.”

    Really worries me that Israel is going to get screwed!

    • Bibi should get the O Team a copy of “Apocalypse Now” and tell them that the chopper scene will be reenacted over Tehran, but not with mini-guns and AGMs, but with some very environmentally unfriendly ordinances.

      If/when Israel does act they should be playing Wagner’s “Ride of the Valkyries” as they launch their strike. Let the valkyrja decide who is going to make it and who is not in Tehran.

        • A good portion of the elite in Germany before WWII were Jews, as was the case in Austria. The Jewish professionals supported the arts, music, theater etc. Simply because Wagner was German does not diminish the richness of his music, nor should the rise of Nazism some 40+ years after his death.

          The list of great composers that hailed from Germany and Austria is a who’s who of the classics: Mozart, Haydn, Handel, Beethoven, Brahms, Bach, the Strauss’, Mendelssohn, Humperdinck. Granted they also gave us the likes of Nena, but you can’t have everything.

  2. By golly, I think I know now what our foreign policy is on the Iranian “problem”; MrO is going to send the EPA goons to Iran to cite them for violations of the “clean air act” and force them to abandon their nuclear dreams. Brilliant!

    • How inspiring to know the young student and acolyte who urged others to “open up your hearts and your minds” to this racist has followed in his footsteps…

  3. # 11 Hey BiB , lets bet a roast pig on our upcoming Olympics medal total !
    My wife just loves roast pigs ! (notice the plural) te! he!

  4. 1. If my Hawaii birth certificate is a forgery, can I get one from Israel?

    2. Can I still keep my forged Selective Service registration so I don’t have to serve with the IDF?

    3. Can I collect social security using my Connecticut number in Israel?

    4. What is Rakm Emanuel telling you about the bath houses we visited in Chicago?

    5. You know Sherif Joe’s got your back on this Iran thing.

    6. My policy is early birth abortion. Of course, I’m not referring to anyone living.

    7. Don’t worry, Michelle has a bigger butt than you do.

    8. Will you take jaw breakers instead of bunker busters?

    9. Want to get bomed together? Oh, thats right, you Jewish guys like to get stoned!

    10. I’ll bet you anything that mine is longer than yours!

  5. No BiBi— I can’t be seen by my Muslim brothers offering you more support then I am giving them,–How–everrr.(whilst rubbing chin),—I think we can persuade Walmart to send you some help. They’ve got thousands of kids rifles with your name on them.