As of now, I am in control here, in the White House

Obama Declares Virginia a Disaster Area

I’m living in a disaster area!!

I read this and I thought they meant the bagels. I’m from New York originally – thought it’s been decades – and you can’t get good bagels down here. What does it take to make a bagel?

Apparently President Obama meant something else. From the White House

The President today declared a major disaster exists in the Commonwealth of Virginia and ordered Federal aid to supplement commonwealth and local recovery efforts in the area affected by the Remnants of Tropical Storm Lee during the period of September 8-9, 2011.

Federal funding is available to commonwealth and eligible local governments and certain private nonprofit organizations on a cost-sharing basis for emergency work and the repair or replacement of facilities damaged by the Remnants of Tropical Storm Lee in the counties of Caroline, Essex, Fairfax, King and Queen, King George, Prince William, and Westmoreland and the independent City of Alexandria.

Oh well, I’ll have to keep eating these crummy round slabs of gussied up Wonderbread. But I guess Obama’s union friends will get to replace the roof on the Post Office.

37 Responses to Obama Declares Virginia a Disaster Area

  1. WTH??? The storm wasn’t even that bad–we happened to be in town that weekend visiting a family member who goes to school in the District–never saw the city so deserted–it was great–on Fri, the grocery stores were packed, but by Saturday, only thing going on was the wind blowing, a few limbs down, the power went off for a moment at our hotel (late Sat. night) and then back on–the storm seemed to stay to the east of I95–were these counties in that area, east of 95/especially hard hit?

  2. You think we got good bagels in Arizona? No, but we got tortillas, flat fried corn mush paste. They roll scrambled eggs in it and call that breakfast. They roll smashed beans in it and call that lunch. They roll ground beef in it and call it dinner.
    They can’t even make a decent jelly doughnut here. We live in the epitome of MrsO’s “food desert”.

    You live within driving distance of the best delis in America, so get in your vehicle, get some bagels and jelly doughnuts, and quit your bitchin’.

  3. Ah for a visit to Kaufman’s Deli in Skokie IL. Or to be able to find some Halvah.

    As a personal story, last New Year’s Eve, I went to a local grocery store in search of lox. Every year for at least 30 years, at midnight on new years it has been my tradition to have bagels and lox along with herring, either in the cream or wine sauce. I found the herring, what they call bagels in Indiana, but could not find the lox. I asked the store manager where I could find lox, and (I’m not making this up) he said, “Have you tried Home Depot.” God love Hoosiers!

    Somedays I truly miss Chicago and all its glorious foods!

    • Great story. I have a funny one too. We have a small grocer and bakery in Amherst called Atkin Farms. One year during Passover they had a sign over their challah bread that said baked for Passover. Too bad it happened before camera phones were invented

        • The “locks” story made me guffaw! I went to Southern Illinois Univ for one yr and when I first got to Carbondale, I asked directions. The guy said, “Go to the tar and turn left.” I said, “Tar? You mean blacktop road?” He looked irritated. “Tar! Tar! Water tar!” Now I sort of wait for context and try not to be as dopey.

  4. Okay, why did it take him 2 months to declare this?

    Second, I’m in NJ. We have awesome bagels, lox and corned beef sandwiches. For a small fee I’d be happy to overnight them to you! gotta love free enterprise!

    P.S. You only get good bagels and chinese food in areas where there are lots of Jews. I can say this, I was one.

  5. “Federal funding is available to commonwealth and eligible local governments and certain private nonprofit organizations”

    Sounds to me like it was a pick-and-choose as to who would be able to get the federal assistance. If you marked you were “Acorn” or “Democrat” you would most certainly qualify. If not, sorry, you’re outside the funding zone.

  6. FYI…DC DOES have great bagels starting today! Bethesda Bagels of Dupont just opened this morning at 1718 Connecticut Avenue in Dupont Circle (where Johnny Rocket’s used to be). The crowd we had all day, the amazing reviews and awards over the past 28 years in addition to the fact that we are from NY proves that. So come check us out and decide for yourself!

  7. Keith,for what it’s worth,I was once told that a good bagel needs the right water.Apparently,NY water works.I live in NY and my bagels are fine.Not to rub it in or anything.

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