Herman Cain today denied everything.
“I have never acted inappropriately with anyone, period,” he declared Tuesday at a new conference in Scottsdale, Ariz.
Instead, four different accusers, two now on the record, and multiple other sources telling multiple news organizations of a pattern of sexual harassment, are part of a GRAND CONSPIRACY AGAINST HERMAN CAIN, according to Herman Cain.
Only, Cain didn’t seem to know which of the conspiracies among the conspiracies he’s conjured was targeting him.
At first, he seemed to think it was dark Washington forces who for some reason don’t want a businessman to run for president.
“For decades, the American people have wanted a businessman in the White House, and not just another politician,” Cain said. “We are not gong to allow Washington or politics to deny me the opportunity to represent this great nation.”
Then it was the press’s turn.
“Nine days ago the media started to beat me up,” Cain groused.
Then, the Vast Left Wing Conspiracy.
“The Democrat machine in America has brought forth a troubled woman to make false accusations, statements, many of which exceed common sense, and they certainly exceed the standards of decency in America.”
And finally, “some people.”
“Some people don’t want to see Herman Cain get the Republican nomination and some people don’t want to see Herman Cain become president.”
One of these groups IS AFTER HIM. LOOK OUT!
Under questioning, he acknowledged he doesn’t have “factual proof” of a Democratic machine geared up to destroy him. Which was ironic because factual proof is exactly what he says his own accusers lack.
When asked, Cain said he definitely will take a lie detector test, unless he won’t.
“I absolutely would. But I’m not going to do that unless I have a good reason to do it.”
Cain warned that “there will probably be others” because “the machine to keep a businessman out of the White House is going to be relentless.”
Well I agree with him on one thing. There will probably be others.