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The Top Ten Titles for Obama’s Next Book

In a grand and false exclusive, White House Dossier has learned that President Obama, his reelection chances looking iffy, has already begun work on a new post-presidency book.

According sources at two publishing firms – Random House and Specific House, the president is testing several titles for his latest tome. White House Dossier has obtained a list of the ten most likely of the titles and presents them here for your perusal.


1. Dreams From My Uncle Onyango Obama

2. How to Bow to World Leaders Without Straining Your Lower Back

3. Wrecking the Economy for Dummies

4. Seven Ways to Make Israeli Prime Ministers Really Angry

5. My Biggest Regret: Why I Should Never Have Sought Advice from a Portuguese Waterdog

6. You Can Do It Too: Tips for Getting Jobs for which You Have No Experience

7. Tails I Win: The Proper Way to Eat Lobster

8. Surrender: A Foreign Policy Strategy for the 21st Century

9. The Audacity of Writing Two Autobiographies, and Now a Third

10. My Secret Agenda: How I Was Sent to Earth from Mars to Weaken the United States and Pave the Way for the 2014 Martian Invasion


These are the ones I found out about. Are there any that you’ve discovered?

H/T to Sarah Nelson who tweets at @Sarahside for thinking of the book title idea!

57 Responses to The Top Ten Titles for Obama’s Next Book

  1. I plan to read and absorb all of the books.
    I will then be ready to run for president.
    Who will care if I am white, female, Southern, and 75 years old?
    I will need all of your votes but after all of that reading, I will be prepared.

  2. #11 The Movie: My name is barry- a sordid tale of one mans wicked ,evil and
    ego driven journey to the top using any means to get there & any means to stay there.. so help him allah !

  3. Heard that he’s also shopping some children’s’ books:
    1) My Burger is for Me, Your Peas are for You
    2) Little Red Riding Hood and the Big Bad Corporate Jet Owner
    3) The Call of the Wild Zuccotti Park
    4) Obamacare’s Web
    5) The Legend of Sleepy House of Representatives

  4. 11. “How I Built The Great Intercontinental Railway”

    12. “Magic Tricks: Disappearing College Transcripts ”

    13. “More Magic Tricks: Turn Your Friends French Fries into Apple Slices”

    14. “Drones For Dummies”

    15. “Even More Magi Tricks: Turn Billion Dollar Deficits into Trillion Dollar Deficits”

  5. Thanks for lightening the mood of your readers Keith. It’s nice to be able to laugh once in awhile. By the way, Hannity mentioned one of the statements Mr. Cain made that got him caught up on charges of sexual harassment — “Darlin’, do you mind doctoring my tea for me?” Sheesh…. what a dastardly man.

  6. “His” And “Hers” Jumbo Jets”, Secrets For A Happy Marriage

    “Golf Every Weekend”, Secrets For A Happy Husband

    “Lobsters And Diamonds”, Secrets For A Happy Wife

  7. What about…
    “My Illicit Affair With Mr. TelePrompter”
    “How To Cultivate Union Thugs As Friends”
    “Here’s a Shovel, Get Ready”
    “Stimulus for Everyone”
    “Air Force One Vacation Destinations” w/ Michelle’s shopping tips
    “Creating Green Energy…Here’s a Billion”

  8. More titles:
    “After the Fall…Tales of a failed Administration”
    “Veni vidi vici… Memoirs of a benificent Emperor”
    “Yes I did… How to destroyed America and shave 5 strokes off your game”
    “Executive Orders… The Dao of leadership”
    “The Long Con… How to get rich, destroy an economy and improve your long game”
    “Nothing to it…How I stopped the rising of the sea and healed the planet”
    “I got mine, get Yours! The Idiot’s guide to winning a Nobel Peace Prize”
    “Benevolent Despot…How I educated America in the evils of success”

    Just a few humble submissions.

  9. Proposed title for Mr Obama’s next book, as suggested by Boston Herald Columnist and radio talk show host Howie Carr:

    “Base on Balls, A Life of Intentional Passes.”

    By Barrak Hussien Obama
    How I destroyed race relations it America.
    Forward by: Al Sharpton,Jerimiah Wreight, and Jesse Jackson.
    Acknowledgements to: The new and improved Black Panthers with a shout out to those adorable Neo Nazis.
    Dedicated to: Marx, Lenin, Keynes and Alinsky, who’s loathing of God and country inspired me attack everything that made America great.

    By Barry Obama,
    Foward by:Rahm Emanuel, George Soros et al.

    catch Barry’s weekly articles usually found in the fifth column of many newspapers.