As of now, I am in control here, in the White House

Top Ten Things Obama Plans to do on Martha’s Vineyard

The president is very well organized when it comes to his vacations. White House Dossier has obtained his private list of “fun things” he intends to do over the next week while on Martha’s Vineyard. We share the top ten of these with you below.

1. Participate in Caribbean vs. Maine lobster races.

2, Get high with John Kerry while listening to Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young.

3. Meet with both of Martha’s Vineyard’s middle class residents.

4. Sell my entire portfolio of stocks.

5. Go to quaint full-price bookstore and buy books that could be had on Amazon for half the price.

6. Sit around with other rich people lamenting that our taxes are too low

7. Pretend to be interested in whether or not Martha’s Vineyard has a Costco.

8. Reassure markets by going clamming with Bernanke.

9. Show commander in chief qualities by participating in war game between Martha’s Vineyard and Nantucket.

10. Croquet death matches.

Got any of your own??

76 Responses to Top Ten Things Obama Plans to do on Martha’s Vineyard

  1. Good ones.

    Call Rahm over here to help me find a way to take full credit for ousting Kadaffi.
    Convince the voters that my golf games are actually covert high-level national security meetings.

  2. 11. Teach “journalists” how to spell Bernanke.
    13. Continue to be black, which is really the problem for the teahadists.
    14. Find 700,000 NPRs to cut that will make the teatards happy.
    15. Wine tasting with east coast elitists* (*rich Ivy League Educated Right Wingers are not elitists)
    16. Cruising for young Dominican boys with a pocketful of Viagra. Oh wait, that’s what Rush Limbaugh is doing.
    17. Dismantle the Soviet Union like Michele Bachmann wants.
    18. Prepare for eventual debate with Rick Perry by studying Rick’s level of reading comprehension – Highlights.
    19. Quit vacation half way through, no wait, that’s Snowbilly Grifter’s plans.
    20. Thumb his nose in the face of the hard working average working man by announcing plans to expand one of his numerous homes from 3000 sq ft to 11000 sq ft? Nope, wait, that’s Mittens.

    • HAHAHAHAHAHAhahahahahaha.h.a.h.a……(polite, forced laugh)

      With respect to your number 13, my hunch is that most “teahadists” are just as opposed to Barry’s white half, as they are to his black. Racial allegations pointed toward the Tea Party are a tired old charge that has never been made to stick. Perhaps those who make them will tire of that approach while they have a shred of credibility left.

      • If Obama was white, and did the same things and had the same policies, of course we would support him wholeheartedly! Just like we did with Bill and Jimmah.

    • Ha, almost found humor in this post but then I saw he pulled the race card and started name calling. Then I realized I see this putz over at Huff-n-Puff and that sealed the “LIBERAL” tag to him.

      Although I gotta hand it to him, there are so many just like him there, it was nearly impossible to spot him from them. You know…where’s fido.

      Anyone that has to use race to be funny, isn’t funny. As far as making fun of the GOP candidates, that earns him a bug yawn badge he can take back to HuffyPuffy. You need to pay attention to Keith’s site there puppy dog. Keith finds no one sacred.

  3. Photo op in soup kitchen with the reclusive FLOTUS in $5000 dress, $2000
    bracelets and $600 tennis shoes serving soup to the needy. Oops guess you would have to hire ‘needy’ extras. Are there any in MV?

  4. #1B. Racing MOOOO to the Coney Island Aquarium to grab up the 18 POUND LOBSTER they just put on exhibit… hey, don’t forget the butter!

    #11. Quick email to Biden showing him what a ‘horse’ is as opposed to the ‘horse’sa$$’ he so perfectly imitates on his China tour.

    • It would be nice if for once, Obama/Biden remembered they are the President/VP for all the people of the US and not just the minority liberal left.

      So I guess when I say “your/their president” it’s ok because Obama/Biden have already stated to the world they only represent the leftist part of our great country.

      • Cute name but you don’t bother the Tea Party with your name calling. That’s grade school carp, the bully at the playground garbage. You aren’t a Democrat. I’m a Democrat. You’re the ultra liberal left (just like the neo-con of the GOP) and you hijacked the Democrat party. Until the Democrats get their heads out of their um…pillow cases (for lack of a better word), and put you and your ilk back in the closet, I’ll vote GOP. Call me what you may, it’s not about me. It’s about this country and you and your president are not good for us.

        • Ummm….Panz? You rode the short bus to school, didn’t you? Try reading my comment again, but this time put some fresh batteries in your humor detector.

          • ummm…you still aren’t funny. You’re a putz.

            I suppose by “short bus” you’re referring to the special education kids. Figures you’d work that in trying to insult them too. That must be the Palin boy hangover joke.

            Actually, I didn’t ride their bus but I did help out in their class room and you couldn’t find a more fun, kind hearted people and their intelligence far exceeded yours. You would be what they would consider “funny” and you have zero idea what that means. But I’d laugh with them because I’d get the joke and let me assure you, it would be on you.

  5. Visit a farm on MV so he can know what farmers really do before he goes on another bus tour. Oh, wait. Are they any farmers on MV?

  6. Thumb his nose in the face of the hard working average working man by by announcing plans to expand one of his numerous homes from 3000 sq ft to 11000 sq ft? taking a luxury vacation, at great expense to the taxpayers (separate planes!), that is beyond them means of everyone but the millionaire and billionaires he’s always vilifying. Hob-nobble with same while on vacation.

    fxt that for fido

      • I’m outraged by the class warfare Obama engages juxtaposed by his personal choices. Not the length of his vacation.

        Two planes to Martha’s Vineyard? Even a millionaire would tell his wife to just wait around a few hours. The only person who does such a thing is someone who simply doesn’t care. Them first.

        • So, in other words – when the white guy goes on vacation it’s all cool, even if he takes Air Force One and multiple planes. I mean sure, Bush made 77 trips to Crawford at about $200K per pop, and again, because he’s white, that’s OK.

          But, when the black guy does it (far far less I might add), then he’s the worlds greatest Monster.

          We get it Car In. Our president is black, and that scares you to no end.

          • Fido, it is certainly a legitimate viewpoint to take that a certain amount of the opposition to Obama is based on race. You seem to think much of it is, which is your right. But it is not legitimate to start calling specific individual’s racist without any evidence that this is what motivates them. It’s a pretty horrible thing, to be labeled a racist. What you are doing here is flaming, and I ask that you desist. I do my best not to allow racist comments on this blog. Further accusations of this sort by you will be deleted.

          • It’s your site and you make the rules, Keith, but I find it hilarious when people call me racist. And, It illustrates how empty their argument is.

          • Keith, being slammed as a racist is just one of the few tools the liberal left have in their “war” chest. Let them have at it. Obama will go down for policies pushed by the liberal left. They Liberal Left is not primarily black. For the most part they are whites.

            Blacks are conservative people but because they are also primarily poorer, they lean with the Democrats to protect their lifestyle. Wealthy blacks stick with their color or are indeed Conservatives and are called names by the Liberal Left. Case in point: Herman Cain.

            The Liberal Left don’t give them a hand up just a hand out to keep them where they need them. It’s a sad situation the Liberal Left has created for the minorities in this country. On the other hand, the GOP needs to look at this seriously and stop demonizing the poor, black, hispanic and white. These people want to maintain so help them find a way out of the terrible situation the left has put them in. This is America and they want to share in the American dream.

            I’m not only a Democrat, I live on $400 a week with a disabled husband (no disability though) and I want a good paying job. I’ve watched how the Liberal Left has destroyed any chance of anything changing for me. We need to have conservative policies so businesses feel secure in expanding. Under Obama that will never happen. I look forward to President Rick Perry taking the reins and righting the wrongs created by the Liberal Left.

            So just remember friends, the only thing the Liberal Left is good at is screeching. Put in your ear plugs, don’t read their replies, and keep right on forward. We will win in 2012.

          • So, fine, Car In, isn’t a racist.

            Then, please explain to me Car In LOGICALLY why Bush’s 77 trips to Crawford ALONE, not even considering Camp David, are perfectly acceptable uses of the “taxpayer” money, yet Barack Obama’s trip to Martha’s Vineyard is an affront to all of a America.

            Example A – 200+ days of vacation at this point in presidency, multiple trips to different states for said vacations, all using AF1.

            Example B 70 days of vacation at this point in presidency, multiple trips using AF1.

            Why is Example B worse than Example A? Please explain this cognitive dissonance to me.

          • Why do you defend Obama’s bad behavior by talking about Bush? How do you know that post-ers here weren’t upset with Bush’s constant trips to his ranch? But that’s in the past and now we’re dealing with the selfishness of our current President and First Lady, who seem unaware that an example of modest lifestyle would be appreciated by all the small people whose taxes fund the White House and whose lives are being hit by our economic problems.

            Why aren’t you demanding better behavior from your guy instead of justifying his actions by bringing up an ex-President?

          • Strawman. It’s not bad behavior, never said it was, and this has nothing to do with “it’s bad but because Bush did it, it’s ok for Obama”. Speaking of having no arguments, you’re arguing a point that was NEVER made.

            All Presidents take vacations. They all take Air Force 1. It’s part of the deal.

            Yet, today, they are “evil” and are selfish and are direct statements vs the little guy. 4 years ago, nary a peep from anyone about the President at the time taking vacations.

            Only people I’m demanding better behavior from are the hypocrites that all of a sudden today think the president taking a vacation is a huge problem.

          • I believe I stated it before, but I’ll state it again. Obama is a class warrior. He argues that people make too much money. He wants to spread the wealth around. White man’s greed drives a world in need.
            Yet, his vacation tastes are not the ordinary. He goes places that most Americans can NEVER go. They can’t afford it. He enjoys a live style he criticize others for having.
            And, those Oceans are not going to stop rising with the two of them taking separate jets to the same location.

          • Look, people protested Bush’s vacations because THE WAR, yada yada yada. Times are different, and apparently no one cares about the war anymore, but financially we are in turmoil. Unemployment is incredibly high, and those with jobs are making less, or struggling to keep their business. Vacation? What’s that? We canceled all ours. Can’t afford the money or the time. People – some – are upset that Obama is asking for shared sacrifice … except for himself. He’s not going to be sacrificing anything.
            Even Carter turned the thermostat down and wore sweaters.

          • How can one not be affronted that they casually spent another $100,000 of our tax dollars just so Michelle could go early?
            Anyone who pays taxes should be offended, in today’s economy. We have that money BLED from us, and our hard work, and they so casually toss it away for their immediate pleasure. Yet, people are selfish, and aren’t paying their fair share?

          • You are a racist. You’re a liberal. Admit it, you hate having a black man in the Whitehouse but you must follow your ilk. That’s why all the black jokes. They are pointed at your president really. You have a sad life. The life of a racist liberal. But you must remember, although he’s black, you guys made sure he was white enough so you felt safe with him. I really doubt he’s going to hurt you. He seems pretty mild to me.

            And oddly enough, we never crack black jokes. He provides us plenty of material with his policies (actually your policies). So get over yourself sweet cheeks, your name calling and black jokes fall short and merely shows your true fears.

          • No sweet cheeks, his color scares you. You keep reminding us what color he is so you can toss out your race card. That worked last time but you over played that hand. What we saw in less than the first year was no matter what color he was, your liberal policies suck.

            And you know Bush wasn’t “on vacation”. That was liberal press screaming about Bush like they did about everything. They screamed when he played gold, screeched when he stopped, screeched when he did anything. So he would go to Crawford to get away from the liberal press and man did they screech up a storm over that.

            So get over your fairy tales. I’m a Democrat and you don’t have me fooled. I remember very well how Bush was treated but you and your liberal press.

      • Bush went to his own property and didn’t mooch off fat cat contributors. And while we’re at it…Reagan, Bush I and Bush II all owned homes that they vacationed in when not at Camp David. Clinton and Obama vacation with the rich folks.

  7. Ha ha ha. Why don’t you come tell me that I’m racist to my face. My house is in Detroit. That’s how racist I am. Bought a house in a black neighborhood.

      • Fido, put down the kool-aid, take off the race-colored glasses and try to see that people can dislike Obama without reference to his having some genes from Africa.

        BTW, the race card is an old and worn out ploy.

      • Where’s the implied threat of violence? I’d just like for you to tell me that to my face. In the all black neighborhood where my house is. I’ll introduce you around. It’ll be fun.

      • Black friend? A house in Detroit? That tells us how much you know. I bet he has lots of black friends you fool. And you know what, you can’t ask for better friends. They stick up for their friends, they protect their friends, no matter what the color. They aren’t like you, sitting in mummy’s cellar telling black jokes and name calling. His black friends wouldn’t appreciate your black jokes. I doubt they would see the humor.

        You’re a coward and a fool.

  8. look for a suitable estate for a ex-president

    write speech explaining why I won’t run for second term (cause I’m gonna lose)

    meet with divorce lawyer

    transfer assets to offshore bank

    call Tiger

  9. 11. THIS time, remember to tighten bike helmet chin strap and fill SUPER SOAKER BEFORE watching Seals assassination.
    12. Find locals to make Maxine Watters souvenir wig from sea oats.
    13. Back to School Mom Jeans sale at Target
    14. Remember to put Camus’ THE STRANGER dust jacket over LITTLE BOOK OF GOLF TIPS.
    15. Executive Order: If she’s going to come in the house, Ina Garten MUST WEAR SHOES!!!

    • Ya see, Fido!

      Now THAT’S funny. Get it? H-U-M-O-R, my boy, humor.

      Creative and Wacky with tight visual images = F-U-N-N-Y!

      Didn’t they teach you Libs that on Air America Radio?..Oh… Sorry.
      Now ya’ see, that wasn’t funny.

      You keep watching your guy Barry for comedy tips.

      He’s a regular laugh riot.

      • Well he may rock them like no other president but did you see Mittens in his mom jeans?? I was truly embarrassed for the man. He had them hiked up, had them cuffed and was wearing black socks and dress shoes. It was horrible. I told Mittens that did it, he couldn’t be president. It would have to be Rick Perry. Rick would never dress like that.

  10. Fido,

    I know that you have received a plethora of responses to your postings, so I will add my two cents, because that’s about all I have left after these past two years.

    You know not what race, religion, ethnicity or origin people are on this blog, yet you make the leap that all are white, middle class, tea party members. Your assume that anyone who strays from the DNC and WH talking points are racist and therefore should be either ignored or pilloried.

    I have been a reader of this blog for a while now, and I am not a Republican nor a Democrat nor a Tea Party member. I am a staunch Libertarian, though I do not hold to Paul’s particular views on many issues.

    I care not one whit what color or gender the occupant of the White House is. All I care about is that they stand by their promise, a promise they swore to on inauguration day, to uphold and defend the Constitution of this country, abide by its laws, and defend this country against all enemies, foreign and domestic.

    The government has no place in my wallet, bedroom or kitchen. I should be able to eat what I want when I want, without having to worry about the FDA, Dept. of Agriculture, or Mrs. Obama attempting to regulate my diet. I should be able to spend the money I earn in any way I see fit, for it is MY money, not the governments. I should be able to do in my bedroom whatever I see fit with whomever I wish, as long as I am not violating a child.

    The Constitution was designed by the Founders as a check on the government not on the people. Amendment 10 of the Constitution states clearly, “The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the states, are reserved to the states respectively, or to the people.”

    Mr. Obama has, via executive order, circumvented portions of the Constitution, eg his order stopping the deportation of illegal immigrants. That law was passed by the co-equal branch of government and signed into law by a former president. However, Mr. Obama seeks to pander to a specific voter block and over turns a law by executive fiat that has had long standing.

    Mr. Obama’s DHS has put out PSAs that depict “terrorists” as being white, middle class males, when in fact all of the attempted terror attacks that have occurred in this country under his watch have been from Islamist. The government (ATF and DOJ) has be duplicitous in its involvement in Operation Fast and Furious, stonewalling the co-equal branch of government, the Congress, and its attempts to get to the truth. OFF has been DIRECTLY linked to the murder of a border agent, and to several other murders. Yet, no one is willing to explain how such a fiasco was allowed to take place.

    I will step out a venture a guess that you assume all African-Americans support Mr. Obama, and that all whites do not. Again, that is a fallacy. There are many whites who still support him, and there are many African-Americans that are becoming disillusioned with his lack of leadership.

    As a final note, your moniker “Fido” means in Latin, “I trust.” I would recommend that you change it to “Interrogo” and start to question what exactly you trust.

  11. 11. Judge a swimsuit contest between 2000 illegal Brazilliian workers on MV.
    12. Show up at the Reading Roon in Edgartown and demand to be served.
    13. Go to Nectars and get ( race) carded at the door.
    14. Buy $300 worth of books at the Bunch of Grapes book store in VH for $35.
    15.Set a new land speed records from Blue Heron Farm to various local golf clubs in a Suburban.
    16. Make untraceable prank calls to Bush (on the multi-million dollar upgraded secure system installed at tax payer expense) from the Farm.

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