President and Mrs. Obama are sharing in the sacrifice tonight at the Beach Plum Restaurant on Martha’s Vineyard, which features an array of overpriced selections for the first couple to choose from that could easily bring the bill within range of $200.
They might, for example, choose to start the meal with a $15 chunk of pizza cheese – I’m sorry, “Fresh Mozzarella” with “Fresh Basil, vine ripened tomatoes, aged balsamic reduction, and chive dill.”
This is a good mix because some things are fresh, and some things are aged.
But the sacrifice really gets serious with the entree, where the Obamas may want to order half a chicken for $38. Excuse me, please, “Herb crusted roasted half Katama Farm chicken; garlic mashed potatoes with steamed broccollini, rosemary jus.”
This would be perfect for me, because when I get tired of Perdue, I alway switch to Katama Farm.
There’s also the steamed twin Menemsha lobsters for $48. Isn’t Menemsha some kind of club for geniuses? I’ll take those.
But to be sure that they’re twins, I’ll need a BIRTH CERTIFICATE.
The restaurant notes, “We would be happy to split single entree items for an additional charge of $15.”
Well, of course! I’m sure being paid $15 to heap the same junk on two plates instead of one would make them very happy indeed.
So if the Obamas go with the cheese and the chicken we’re at $53 before dessert, tax, tip and booze. Now, looks like it’s bring-your-own-drinks with a corkage fee of $10. So if we assume $10 for a drink, $10 for dessert – you know they’re both having dessert – a 6.25 percent Massachusetts restaurant tax, and a 20 percent tip, we’re at $93 each, or $186 for the couple.
The average weekly Social Security check for a retired worker is about $274. Just saying.
And guess what? No peas on the menu. The Obamas don’t have to eat their peas.