I’ve made my choice. Yes, this is an official White House Dossier endorsement. Because what this country needs right now is someone who has some experience running Ponzi schemes.
Ponzi schemes, as many of you are aware, are illegal in the private sector but a perfectly acceptable way of doing business in the public sector. So I’m baking a cake right now with a hacksaw in it, because I think there’s nothing immoral about springing Madoff from jail so he can take a hot shower and then get about the business of running for president.
Let me explain. People seem to be getting in on the secret of baseline budgeting. For many of us in Washington, it’s nothing new, and frankly I’m so used to this form of mass deception that I forgot it wouldn’t be self-evident to normal people.
That is, all these dramatic “cuts” you are hearing about – “Trillions in Savings!” – are not really savings at all, but reductions from expected increases in spending. It’s like if you tried to cut your credit card bills by promising to increase your shopping aggressively instead of very aggressively.
The Congressional Budget Office in January forecast that the federal government will add about $8 trillion in debt over the next ten years. So even “grand bargains” – which have now be cast aside anyway – closing deficits by $4 trillion would still leave us another $4 trillion in hole. That is, by 2021, we’d be $14 trillion in debt rather than $18 trillion in debt.
So just like Bernie, the federal government is constantly in need of new clients – which it calls taxpayers instead of “suckers” – in order to fund its Ponzi Scheme. Social Security, Medicare, discretionary spending – it’s all insolvent and would collapse into nothing without the constant feeding from suckers. I’m sorry, taxpayers.
So I’m putting a lot of frosting on my cake. I don’t want the hacksaw to accidentally poke out.