As of now, I am in control here, in the White House

Obama Fails to Get Solar Panels Onto the Roof

Well, it looks like the Obama family will have at least several more months of knowing the light will go on when they flip a switch.

According to the Associated Press, the White House has failed to put solar panels on the roof by spring, as promised.

Apollo, the Greek God of the Sun, was furious, and caused all Greek gyro restaurant owners in the United States to start charging 50 cents for extra tzatziki.

Jimmy Carter, who originally installed solar panels only to see them removed by Ronald Reagan was equally angry and threatened to go negotiate a new peace treaty with North Korea.

Enivros were also unhappy, according to the AP report.

“On we’ll go,” sighed Bill McKibben, founder of the climate activist group “One more summer of beautiful, strong sunlight going to waste, just bouncing off the White House roof.”

McKibben and other environmentalists say the failure to meet its own deadline reflects an administration that’s been long on green rhetoric but sometimes disappointingly short on practical accomplishments.

“Nine months is a pretty long time. You can have a baby in that time,” he said. “On the list of things that get done, this isn’t all that hard. It doesn’t require SEAL Team 6. It just requires a good-faith effort. You can just open the Yellow Pages and get page after page of solar installers.”

Mrs. Obama, you’ve had two babies, and no solar panels? What’s wrong with you? At least put the damn things up to get Mr. McKibben out of your hair.

H/T to Ed, where I first saw this. Ed notes that  the failure at least makes it “unnecessary for the next Republican president to symbolically remove the panels.”

7 Responses to Obama Fails to Get Solar Panels Onto the Roof

  1. They could put solar panels all over the WhiteHouse, the lawn and down Pennsylvania Ave and there still wouldn’t be enough electricity generated to power the WestWing, much less the whole compound.

  2. Greek gyro restaurants are scarcer than hen’s teeth in this neck of the woods, so no skin off my back if they charge 50 cents extra for tzatziki. Had to look that word up to know you were talking about sauce Keith.

    Poor little greenie weenies. Their false idol is not the man they thought he was. They don’t really think the royal family can be inconvenienced by inclement indoor temperatures? Heaven forbid they break a sweat or wear some sleeves around the White House.

  3. You know I was wondering why that Gyro cost more when I visit Seattle and settle for pub food thinking it’s cheaper, Ha! Not nice to make Apollo mad…

  4. The WhiteHouse forgot that it was only 5pm on the WestCoast. 6pm in the MidWest. Not a good time for a speech.
    They must go to bed early in the WhiteHouse. Most people are still awake at 10pm EST.

    • They don’t really go to bed see, wednesday night is POTUS poker night with the posse. A calming, smoke-filled setting. A fine spread featuring fried pork rinds,ribs,fried egg rolls,pickled pig’s feet imported from the south, fried chicken gizzards or a common treat from the family fridge : state dinner leftovers. TV blasting BET network
      Idle profane chit chat..a very entertaining occasional slurred lecture from POTUS
      They let POTUS win a few hands (gets that old glare on his face when he starts losing)
      Wash it all down with schlitz malt liquor , right from the can !
      Helps him stay grounded from the rigors of constant fundraising..
      Say what you want, that dude POTUS knows how to live !

      Note my attorney. this is possibly not a real event.

  5. For my pathetic hut, panels would be $20K. You know the elec co will just raise rates down the line or something will happen so this will not help you.