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Top Ten Reasons Clinton is Quitting After Obama’s First Term

Hillary Clinton recently announced that she will not serve as President Obama’s Secretary of State if he gets a second term. Observers said she seemed like she’s tired of the job, but White House Dossier has obtained from a source close to Clinton the top ten real reasons she’ll be leaving.

We present them to you here.

1. Believed Bill when he said he wants to spend more time with her.

2. Tired of being “just a secretary.”

3. Obama is threatening to trade her to France.

4. Hopes to begin medical school as soon as possible to realize secret dream of becoming a gastroenterologist.

5. Pissed that she didn’t get the presidency but still has to take the 3 am phone calls.

6. Kofi Annan has a plan to take over the world in 2013 and only she can stop him.

7. Wants to run away to Rome with Fabio.

8. Obama will only allow her to take a half hour for lunch.

9. Biography due out in two years will reveal she is running a Ponzi scheme that will make Madoff’s look like Monopoly money.

10. Is pretty sure there’s NOT GOING TO BE a second Obama term.

Feel free to add you own!

20 Responses to Top Ten Reasons Clinton is Quitting After Obama’s First Term

  1. Has anyone else seen the comment by Austan Goolsbee that an arbitrary debt ceiling is a ‘weird construct’?

    Wouldn’t if be great if Barry and W. before had no constraints on spending?

  2. Exhausted and tired of wearing “Depends” adult diapers, having to spew out so much bullshit from the Dear Leader’s administration.

  3. The number one reason she needs to quit is I AM SICK OF HER. I used to support her. Now I can hardly stand to see her weary face droning on.

  4. Plans to disclose her heretofore secret relationship with another cabinet secretary (hint – DHS) and their exceedingly longshot hopes of having a child together. Bruno will keep her post in the unlikely event that Barry wins reelection. Otherwise they will return to AZ, set up a law “partnership” and facilitate illegal immigration.

  5. Hillary: 16. She can’t find a hairdresser for her T.V. appearances.
    17. She is too fat for all her pantsuits.
    18. She has run out of lies for Bengazi.