As of now, I am in control here, in the White House

President Obama: Return Your Nobel Peace Prize

Yes, do it. Go ahead. Quick. People are calling for the Scandinavians to take it away from you because you had the temerity to use instruments of war against Libya. So now is the time to give it back.

But waaaaaiit a second here. No, don’t give it back because you no longer deserve it. You never deserved it, you’ve pretty much acknowledged that.

But don’t give it back because you never deserved it. Heck, I get lots of things come my way I don’t deserve. I’m not giving them back.

Give it back because the Nobel Peace Prize was nothing more than effort to control your behavior, a rank attempt by a bunch of left wing Norwegian nudist colony enthusiasts to dictate the foreign policy of the United States.

Their message to you was clear: Of course you don’t deserve this, so now you should feel obligated to earn it by subverting U.S. interests to those of the world community and mothballing your marvelous military.

Here is a quote from the citation the prize committee released on awarding you the Nobel in October 2009:

Obama has as President created a new climate in international politics. Multilateral diplomacy has regained a central position, with emphasis on the role that the United Nations and other international institutions can play. Dialogue and negotiations are preferred as instruments for resolving even the most difficult international conflicts.

You got that? They are saying: “You are a man of peace and collective action. You are a man of peace and collective action. We are trying to hypnotize you. Observe the watch as it swings from side to side. You are getting sleepy. At the count of ten, you will forever be a man of peace and collective action. One, two, three . . . ”

Mr. president, you may say this award does not affect your behavior, but it has to be tinkering around in the back of your mind. I mean, IT’S THE NOBEL PEACE PRIZE. You learned about it in second grade. And now you got it. Damn.

So that’s why you have to just give it back. Or else it will serve as a monkey on your back for the rest of your administration. You’re probably thinking you’re done dropping explosives on people after Libya. It’s probably preventing you from thinkin’ on what you really need to do, which is bomb Iran’s nuclear installations. I mean, how can a man get THE NOBEL PEACE PRIZE and then order up two wars?

Listen to me, President Obama: “You are a man of war. You are  man of war. Not the fish kind.  You will ditch the international community if necessary and do what you have to. You will ditch the international community if necessary and do what you have to. I am trying to hypnotize you. At the count of ten, you will wake up and bomb Iran. One, two, three . . .  “

8 Responses to President Obama: Return Your Nobel Peace Prize

  1. Oh, I totally agree Keith. It was a group of left-leaning Norwegians who gave it to him but I do think that they have second thoughts. They tried to rehabilitate by giving the prize to this courageous Chinese last year. I agree with you that Iran is the big Spider in the region. But there you have to thread very carefully.

  2. I agree on the nudists–really, oh, you mean the sauna thing–but trying to get more wars, not so much, Keith. The other one you have going seems to be sagging…

  3. Personally, I’ve never understood why an award created by the will of the inventor of dynamite was held in such high regard. It’s only a small group deciding to give a medal and some money to people in one of six areas, or, in the case of Liu Xiaobo, effectively sentencing someone to prison.

  4. The Noble Peace (or Piece as in that ‘pie’ candidate BHO pontificated on) Prize Committee would be too afraid to be called ‘RAAACIST’ to take the prize back. Its his…and their legacy. Its kinda cool, in a Karmic way, when wild Prosgressiviks get hoisted on their own petard.

    • Good point.
      Nothing more glaringly wrong than the recipient of the PeacePrize who escalates an ongoing war against Afganistan goat herders, and then, in an unprecedented move under the mantle of “humanitarian interests”, orders the US military to fling Tomahawk missiles on a citizenry who pose no threat to anyone but themselves .

  5. I can not be surprized any more. This empty suit has no guilt or remorse for what he’s done to date and is planning on more…Im a construction guy and one of my favorite colloquialism’s is in refference to Barry’s adiministration…”I would;nt have it up my ass if I had room for a saw mill”….and thats all I have to say today