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Top Ten Items on Obama’s Christmas Wish List

President Obama recently sent Santa his wish list. White House Dossier has obtained a copy, and senior White House officials have confirmed its authenticity.

What follows are the top ten presidential Christmas gift wishes, not including several items that were redacted at the request of the national security adviser.

1. Boehner accidentally sets tanning booth to “deep-fry.”

2. Michelle doesn’t start serving the new items on kids’ school lunch menus at the White House.

3. Kim Jong-Il tries to forcibly “reunite” North Korea with China.

4. Pelosi stops bossing me around.

5. Angela Merkel doesn’t continue mentioning that Bush used to give her back rubs.

6. Harry Reid refrains from sobbing during 2 am phone calls.

7. Michelle permits use of teleprompter during pillow chat.

8. Ahmadinejad uses “taste test” to gauge level of uranium enrichment.

9. Karzai stops smoking his own stash

10. Biden stops smoking his own stash.

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