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You Can Take Michelle’s Vacation for $10,000

Do you have $10,000 lying around. You do? Well then you can take the very same vacation Michelle is taking this week.

Because a mere ten grand – at a minimum, however – would cover your economy class  flight and a awe-inspiring four night/five day stay at the incomparable Hotel Villa Padierna in Marbella, Spain, plus miscellaneous costs.

Of course, you wouldn’t be taking a round-the-clock squadron of Secret Service agents and incurring the other costs that go with being a traveling first lady. One estimate today of the tab to taxpayers put the price well over $300,000.

You don’t need anything more than a little mace for protection. So grab your daughter and let’s get you started on your trip.

Just me and 70 rich friends on a stroll.

With regard to your air travel costs, choosing flights is a balance between the amount of time it takes to this Spanish outpost and the price tag. So I’ve tried to find flights that won’t take you, like 24 hours, but won’t bust the budget either! Won’t bust somebody’s budget, at least.

I found a great flight for you out of Washington Dulles International Airport that departs at 5:30 pm on Tuesday, August 24. Now, you don’t happen to be traveling on Air Force 2, so you’ll have to make a stop.

The first leg of the trip via United Airlines gets you to Madrid. From there, you’ll hope a Spanair flight to Malaga, Spain, where you land Wednesday at 1o:05 am local time. You will then need to rent a car for the drive to the hotel in Marbella and to assist in your sightseeing.

Total flight time is 10 hours and thirty five minutes.

On your return, things won’t be quite so easy.  You’ll fly out of Malaga on Aer Lingus to London, but then you will have to sit tight for four hours before boarding a United flight back to Dulles. Total time is 15 hours and six minutes

The total flying adds up to $2,887.80 for you and the kid, including taxes and fees, and assuming you don’t take the “Travel Protection Plan” (You know your going!). It’s a steal, I assure you. If you don’t look carefully and be persistent you’ll be at $7,000 and up round trip.

The Hotel Villa Padierna Spa. This could be you, only thinner.

We’ve found a lovely room for you and mini-you at the hotel. Even though we know Michelle is staying in the nicest suite possible, let’s be conservative and book the second nicest, The Theater Suite, which is described as a  “two Bedroom two room Suite” with a “Resort view.” For four nights, the tab will unfortunately come to $4,745, so do use that resort view.

The other miscellaneous costs always add up. You know what it’s like on vacation, you just spend, spend, spend. Let’s assume modestly that you partake in ONE overpriced hotel activity, the “Bliss Spa For Two” package at the soothing Thermae Spa. That’s $372, please.

The car you’ll be tooling around in, just a mid-size, will cost you $600. And I think it’s fair to assume $300 in daily expenses for you and the daughter – restaurants, tipping, shopping – for four days (arrival and departure days each counting half) for a total of $1,200. Oh, and you parked your own car at Dulles for six days. That’s $102.

You won’t have to pay to put the dog in a kennel since you’ve left your husband at home, and if he goes to Chicago or something, apparently the dog goes too.

So we’re at $9,906. Add in that moment on every vacation where you say, “What? That wasn’t included?” and we’re at $10,000.

6 Responses to You Can Take Michelle’s Vacation for $10,000

  1. I once went on a press trip to Majorca, courtesy of the Olive Oil Council–to learn more about you know what. I got sick later in Madrid. We had eaten a lot of olives, but that wasn’t it. The whole trip cost me $100–some stuff I bought. I love paid trips. Just wanted to say that. The problem is, I am paying for a part of hers or would be if I could make enough to owe taxes.

  2. The price is right but I’ll have to pass on the trip.
    I’m listening to FOX radio now and they’re talking about “MO’s $300,000 vacation”. “we lost 161,000 jobs this week” Quoting S. Hannity.
    Pair this major hoop-de-doo with her pronouncement of “being pround of my country” and you can stick a fork in her lofty polls.

  3. Keith, you’re rightly offended but what about the rest of the media? I know they’re snickering among themselves. I read Laura Ingraham’s parody of her trip in the Huffington Post today and in the comments there very few people defending her. Have we reached a tipping point? Will her poll numbers go down if enough are aware of this trip. It’s summer and people are preoccupied. That might be their saving grace.

    • This is not only a public relations disaster but a real sign of how out of touch they are. I think her numbers will go down.

  4. We should be honored to sacrifice our own pursuit of happiness so that Her Royal A**ness could expose her tacky tan line to peasants in other parts of the world.

  5. I am now retired so I cant put on the company card My wife wants to take me on Vacation somewhere different we have been to most places
    We live on the beach in Florida. we travel to London, France,Frankfurt,Mexico,Bag cock,Nam, The Great Wall,We lived in NEW YORK and we just got back from the west coast for a month So where can we go now? No More Cruses. HELP