As of now, I am in control here, in the White House

The Top Ten Things That Could Save Obama

1. The economy begins to surge, big time. Let’s face it, no one ever knows for sure where the economy is going.

2. Obama bombs Iran. He’ll finally look like a tough guy, he’ll saveĀ  Israel from a devastating attack – not to mention the United States – and Jewish voters will stick with him.

3. He bags Osama Bin Laden. Even Bush couldn’t do it! More points if he tortures Osama. This could be done by putting Biden in the cell next to him, or forcing him to listen to Al Gore speeches on global warming 24 hours a day.

4. A major terrorist attack occurs. Of course he would never want such a thing. But just being brutally honest, it would rally the country to the president, as such traumas always do.

5. The Republicans take the House. Hey, it’s what saved Clinton. Obama then takes credit for anything going right and blames the GOP for everything that’s going wrong.

6. Obama makes Hillary his VP running mate. A gamble, but it would reignite the Democrats and bring moderate women to the polls.

7. Michelle has a baby. It would be like, awwwwwww. Awwwwwww.

8. Obama appears along with Tom DeLay and Tucker Carlson as part of a square dancing team – and we do mean SQUARE dancing team – on Dancing with the Stars. Talk about “no such thing as bad publicity.” Everyone would tune in.

9. The Republicans nominate Newt Gingrich. Is it possible to be less likable?

10. The Republicans nominate Bob Dole. Well, it’s happened before.

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