As of now, I am in control here, in the White House

President Obama’s Head Falls Off

As part of its effort to show Obama cares, the White House has added ANOTHER daily briefing to the president’s schedule, this one on the “BP Deepwater Horizon Oil Spill.”

I first noticed this yesterday on Tuesday”s schedule, and now it’s back for Wednesday’s.

When Obama took office, there was only one daily briefing, the regular presidential session on intelligence. This of course was enough to scare the crap out of all previous presidents, who wanted no further briefings. But Obama, promising to rescue the nation from Bushonomics and not stop until everyone has a job, a chicken in every pot, and pot in every chicken, added the Economic Daily Briefing.

Now he’s got a Gulf Briefing too. Each of the sessions lasts a half hour, which means Obama is now spending 90 minutes getting bamboozled with briefings.

I have confirmed with two reliable sources in the White House that during the middle of the third briefing Tuesday, the president’s head fell off.

White House officials were stunned but acted fast, immediately appointing a bipartisan commission to determine whether an otolaryngologist or a neurosurgeon should be tapped to sew it back on.

Meanwhile, Obama scampered around the floor searching blindly for his head, which had actually rolled into the Roosevelt Room.

Fortunately, Vice President Biden, whose own head had once fallen off while he listened to HIMSELF speak for three hours straight on foreign policy, was on hand and remembered the procedure for cranial reattachment.

Biden had been striding down the West Wing corridor looking for something to do and noticed the president’s head rolling out of the Oval Office and into the Roosevelt Room.

This is a big fucking deal he thought to himself, and quickly snatched the president’s head off the floor of the Roosevelt Room, marched into the Oval, and to the relief of the everyone promptly reattached it.

Once Obama’s face started to work again it too showed an expression of relief. The president determined to temporarily eliminate the daily economic briefing, even if it looked bad politically.

“Losing your head looks worse!” he exclaimed, and everyone laughed merrily.

One Response to President Obama’s Head Falls Off

  1. Good thing for BO that Joey, who doesn’t have a devious bone in his body, was the one to spot it first. What if it’d been Hillary? Or Michelle?