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The Top Ten Hidden Benefits of Obamacare

At White House Dossier, we’d like to acknowledge that we’ve spent a little too much time criticizing Obamacare and detailing why it’s a mistake. In fact, there are many benefits to the president’s health care plan, and a number of good reasons why it should be implemented.

While there are many more, we’ve listed for you here the top ten justifications for Obamacare. Ten reasons why you should love it. We think you’ll agree with all of them.

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1. You’ll at last get to read the Encyclopedia Britannica in its entirety while waiting in your doctor’s office.

2. You will experience the thrill of waiting to find out whether you’ll die before you finally have your surgery.

3. People who have long dreamed of becoming doctors will have incentive to avoid massive co-pays and deductibles by performing surgery on themselves.

4. No more concern about seeing a good doctor as all the good doctors retire and smart people opt not to go into medicine.

5. With maternity care covered for everyone, men can finally start to have babies.

6. Since Obamacare’s authors did nothing about medical malpractice reform, you can easily sue your doctor if he actually demands payment.

7. It seems reasonable to ask your doctor to classify quadruple bypass open heart surgery as a free “wellness” visit.

8. With your daughter on your plan until age 26, you can threaten to revoke her health insurance if she marries that guy with the tattoo.

9. Surprisingly enough, in Federalist Paper 74, James Madison wrote, “I think it would be a good idea for the federal government to take over a business that represents a fifth of the economy.”

10. Obama, Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi, and Hillary Clinton all have enough money to see doctors and go to hospitals that are out of network, so you can stop worrying about them!

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Are there any other benefits that you are aware of?

Top Ten Unreported Obama Vacation Activities

1. Solved crisis in Egypt. Result will become apparent within the week. 2. Cheered his personal two-pound lobster on to a disappointing seventh place finish in the 2013 annual Edgartown Lobster Races. 3. Established first Martha’s Vineyard sanctuary for homeless shrimp. 4. Renewed pact with Satan just before eagling the seventh hole at the Vineyard… Continue Reading

Top Ten Thoughts Obama Had During his Berlin Speech

Through the new Google brain-mapping program, White House Dossier has been able to upload the actual thoughts of President Obama during his speech Wednesday in Berlin. I think you’ll agree, It’s a fascinating look into the mind of our leader. Here are the top ten thoughts that ran through Obama’s head during his remarks: 1. Hey,… Continue Reading

Top Ten Other Scandals Involving Obama

Wondering, where does it all stop?, White House Dossier this week dispatched a team of investigative reporters to uncover any other scandals that might have occurred under President Obama’s watch. As you can imagine, we came up with a plethora of juicy stuff. What follows are the top ten unrevealed scandals that personally involve Obama.… Continue Reading

Obama’s Top Ten Other “Red Lines”

The “red line” President Obama drew over Syria’s use of chemical weapons is only the most famous of a roster of red lines he has drawn during his presidency. White House Dossier has obtained a copy the list, written by Obama and stuffed in the top drawer of his desk. We bring to you here… Continue Reading

Top Ten Things Obama Might Say to Bush at his Library Dedication

President Obama Thursday plans to attend the dedication of the George W. Bush presidential library in Dallas. Well, that might be uncomfortable, given that Obama has been badmouthing Bush since taking office, attributing most of his problems to the former president. One can only imagine some of the things he might say. Here’s ten possibilities.… Continue Reading

Top Ten Things Obama Plans to Say in Israel

President Obama will to leave for Israel Tuesday night, and he desperately wants to make a good impression in order to atone for his lousy handling of the relationship to date. This will be a carefully scripted trip, and White House Dossier has obtained some of the exact lines written for Obama to say in… Continue Reading

Top Ten Sequester Cuts to Hit the White House

The White House announced Friday that indeed, it too will be facing the sequester cuts. White House Dossier has obtained an exclusive list of the ten most painful cuts the White House will incur: ******* 1. Obama to begin drinking Poland Spring instead of Fiji water. 2. Biden’s nanny no longer paid to work weekends.… Continue Reading

Top Ten Secret Obama Requirements for Path to Citizenship

Not to stir up trouble, but White House Dossier has uncovered a private White House list of President Obama’s requirements for granting illegal immigrants a “path to citizenship.” Apparently, it’s not a stringent as some people think, and some of it appears either silly or designed to mint new Democratic voters. With the realization that… Continue Reading

Hillary’s Top Ten Excuses on Benghazi

Secretary of State Clinton Wednesday failed to provide a full explanation of why an immediate military response wasn’t ordered to try to rescue besieged members of the U.S. mission in Benghazi. Maybe that’s because it’s inexplicable. But White House Dossier has done some investigative journalism and uncovered the top ten reasons why Hillary didn’t ensure… Continue Reading