As of now, I am in control here, in the White House

Tag Archives: Satire

White House Dossier Photo Contest!!

Okay, let’s play.

Two of the people in the photograph below have had credible accusations of rape lodged against them. See if you can figure out who they are.

Sorry, no prize money today. This is just a competition to test your knowledge of the news. Good luck!

BONUS QUESTION: Which one nearly assumed a position of enormous power in the White House this year?

Rep. Al Green Moves to Impeach Trump, Then Moves On

Democratic Rep. Al Green of Texas Wednesday introduced articles of impeachment against President Trump, saying Trump had “undermined the integrity of his office with impunity and has brought disrepute on the presidency with immunity.”

You see, it even rhymes. Let’s try it another way, in verse.

Donald J. Trump,
president of the United States of America,
has undermined the integrity
of his office with impunity;
and has brought disrepute
on the presidency with immunity.

Okay, so it’s more Dr. Suess than Blake, but whatever. I admire anyone who speaks in rhymes.

Green somehow managed to bring Hitler into it.

The public has been led to believe that a president must commit a crime to be impeached, which is not true. If any president persisted with the lie that “Hitler was right,” he would be, and should be, impeached not for a crime, but for betraying his trust as president.

Green, who has been showboating this issue for months, didn’t take further action, and the impeachment proceedings came to a swift, abrupt and yet timely conclusion.

Below is Al Green in better days, delivering a searing performance of one of my favorite songs, “Take Me to the River,” during an appearance in 1975 on the old TV show “Soul Train.”

Okay, okay, it’s a different Al Green. Actually, this whole article is mostly an excuse to show you this video. Enjoy.

Trump to Rein In Obamacare Birth Control Coverage Mandate

President Trump is set to allow employers who object to providing birth control coverage for their employees to opt out of the Obamacare mandate requiring them to do so.

From the New York Times:

The new rules, which could be issued as soon as Friday, fulfill a campaign promise by President Trump and are sure to touch off a round of lawsuits on the issue.

More than 55 million women have access to birth control without co-payments because of the contraceptive coverage mandate, according to a study commissioned by the Obama administration. Under the new regulations, hundreds of thousands of women could lose birth control benefits they now receive at no cost under the Affordable Care Act.

One new rule offers an exemption to any employer or insurer that objects to covering contraceptive services “based on its sincerely held religious beliefs.”

Another regulation offers a new exemption to employers that have “moral convictions” against covering contraceptives.

Birth control is not, generally speaking, a health care issue. The baby process becomes a health issue for the woman and the child once a woman becomes pregnant, not before. Prior to that, it’s an issue related to morals and temperament. And please, no Orwellian language about how birth control is “preventative medicine” addressing a “condition” women seek to avoid.

There are other ways to prevent pregnancy short of birth control. One of the ways was first discovered in the year 10,467 BC when a caveman first noticed that babies did not just pop out of women randomly, but that the event had something to do with prior activity that was going on in the master caveroom. These cavemen and women noticed that, if they laid their heads down on the rock and went to sleep every night without doing anything else, no babies appeared.

Today, in our modern world, we continue to possess this critical knowledge, though we often choose not to act on it, particularly before marriage. And if we want to engage in that admittedly pleasurable activity related to the creation of children and seek not to incur the consequences that nature intended, then that’s our problem, nobody else’s.

That is, there is absolutely no reason why anyone should pay for other people to have sex, either as their employer or as a dues-paying member of a health plan. Crazy ‘ole Trump is taking a first step toward doing something completely rational and correcting the insanity of the leftists and elitists who run our lives.

The WH Dossier Contest: Use Covfefe in a Sentence

As you maybe aware, President Trump last night issued an odd tweet, “Despite the constant negative press covfefe,” and then left it at that. This morning, he deleted it and poked fun at himself. Who can figure out the true meaning of “covfefe” ??? Enjoy! — Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) May 31, 2017 So let’s… Continue Reading

Video || The American Tradition of Politicians Body-Slamming Journalists

Well, it turns out that guy in Montana who body-slammed a reporter went ahead and got elected to a House seat anyway. Everyone seems surprised, but it doesn’t seem to have occurred to anyone on the Washington mainstream media that body-slamming a reporter, particularly one so dripping with metrosexuality — Oh, you broke my glasses!… Continue Reading