I can feel it. Like a dog who barks before an earthquake, I just know it’s coming. And just like that dog would, if it could, I hope I am wrong. But I believe The November Surprise will soon be upon us.
The Great Clinton Exoneration is on its way. One way or another, the Justice Department will announce in the next seven days that there’s no evidence of classified information on emails Hillary Clinton exchanged with her protégé Huma Abedin, and, everyone please ice up the champagne again for the Clinton coronation.
I don’t know how it will happen exactly. But it will happen. Because the Democrats will win this at any cost. Losing means allowing Trump, the crude usurper, to undo everything the magnificent Obama did. And the revelation that Clinton is under investigation yet again is a serious threat to her candidacy, and the Democrats know it.
Here’s one possible scenario for making the problem go away.
FBI investigators are currently racing through Huma Abedin’s emails trying to rule out that Hillary Clinton sent or received classified information to any of Abedin’s private, Anthony Weiner-supervised, email accounts. They are under enormous pressure by political appointees in the Justice Department to get the deed done before Election Day. The agents will do an honorable job, though, and it does not appear they can possibly complete the task in a thorough manner before Tuesday. To be done seriously, the job of divining which of thousands of emails may contain classified information takes time.
Time would seem to work against Hillary Clinton in this case. But time can also work for her.
The very fact that investigators cannot conclude by Tuesday that no classified information was exchanged between Abedin and Clinton also means they cannot conclude there was any. And so, presto, some kind of “preliminary finding” gets cooked up that the emails contained nothing more threatening than Yoga appointments, pantsuit sales, and Friday night gatherings of the Wellesley Alumni Scrabble Club.
Maybe, at that point, agents will even have “viewed” all the emails but not yet completed the process of having agencies scrutinize the missives to determine whether information was classified.
You can just hear Loretta Lynch proclaiming: “At this point in the process, we can announce that the FBI has reviewed all of the emails and has not found that any of the information within them was classified.”
Technically, correct. But as a practical matter, meaningless.
But as a political matter, pure gold.
FBI Director Comey will be instructed to find a comfortable monastery and stay there until Wednesday. If he wants to resign in protest, he must not do so before Election Day, since staging a dramatic departure before then will “interfere” with the democratic process and undo the Republic.
Such a scheme may not be enough to reverse Clinton’s declining fortunes. Some of the damage has already been done, in that the electorate has been reminded that a Clinton presidency promises an endless series of scandals, investigations, and dyspeptic-looking individuals clinging to the Fifth Amendment before the House Oversight Committee.
But at least it will suggest to voters that Clinton isn’t likely to take the Oath of Office one day and an oath on the witness stand the next. Loretta Lynch, she of the open-plane-door-policy, may yet fly to Hillary’s rescue.