You know who they are. They’re siblings who believed their professors in college. They’re in-laws you can do nothing about. They are “friends” who secretly think you are a mindless, evil philistine.
These liberals love to ruin your dinner with sanctimony and moral superiority. Well, on the theory that the best defense is a good offense, here are 12 things you can say to pre-empt the inevitable attack.
1: Did you know that the earth hasn’t really warmed for almost 20 years?
2: So, how much did your health insurance premiums go up this year?
3: Would you mind if 20 young, male Syrian refugees moved into a rooming house next door to you and your children?
4: What’s worse, an 18-minute gap in a tape recording or 30,000 missing emails?
5: How’s the Obama presidency been working out for black Americans?
6: Donald Trump is worth $4 billion. How much are you worth?
7: Who’s smarter, you or Ted Cruz?
8: What are you doing “owning” on land that belongs to Native Americans?
9: Which president has the worst average GDP growth per quarter in the postwar period, Gerald Ford, Jimmy Carter, or George W. Bush? (Answer: None of them, it’s Barack Obama with an average rate of 1.78 percent, according to U.S. News & World Report)
10: Did you know that the immigration enforcement authorities removed 76,000 criminals apprehended at or near the border or other points of entry this year?
11. Would you rather experience a terrorist attack in a place that allows concealed carry or one that doesn’t?
12. Merry Christmas!
This version of this article also appears in PoliZette.