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Top Ten “Consulting” Services Offered by Bill Clinton

So, we learn today that Bill Clinton established a secret company through which he funneled secret earnings that the Clintons tried to keep secret.

The work was for “consulting.” It’s a common job around Washington, consulting. Who knows what it means?

That’s why I sent a team of reporters to find out just what kind of consulting advice Bill Clinton was offering to his well-heeled corporate clients.

Here, for you, are the top ten:

1. How to create proper feng shui in your office and also turn it into a sex palace.

2. The meaning of word “is” – with additional information on how to use it in a sentence.

3. How to get the full value out of your interns.

4. Worried your son may one day face a draft? 1960s draft-dodging techniques updated for the 21st century.

5. Strategies for lying to a grand jury and not going to jail.

6. How to turn the presidency into a money-making extravaganza.

7. Why starting your own charity is the perfect scam.

8. Someone caught you cheating? How to convince your wife it’s all just part of a “vast right wing conspiracy.”

9. Ramen Noodle Rich: How to scrape by on $25 million a year.

10. Men are from Mars, women are from Venus? Okay, how to meet chicks on Mars.

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29 Responses to Top Ten “Consulting” Services Offered by Bill Clinton

  1. There is a creepy, smarmy feel to everything the Clintons do, or have done. Nothing is above board, nothing is honorable, and it’s just amazing that people who should know better (or claim to) can support them in any manner.
    Had any Repub done what the Clinton’s are accused of, any of it, the outrage would be so heavy you could put it in a bucket.

    The money grubbing, the sneaky faux charity, the influence peddling, the lies, destroying e-mails…it’s all too much.

  2. How to hide a smirk by biting down on your lip, effectively looking sincere and concerned, all the while plotting your next, er, uh, “move”.

    H

  3. Keith, as an aside, I clicked the Mark Levin link on the left side of your screen, and I receive an “Access Denied” warning from some company I’ve never heard of.

  4. The Clinton family – including their daughter Chelsea who is a corrupt as her parents after learning from the best – is beyond sleazy and can’t get any worse.
    I don’t ever understand how they are not imprisoned!
    RICO charges is the minimum for them; it has long been known that they hide large sums of money in the Cayman Islands to avoid paying required federal taxes.
    Greed is their main motive; they is never enough for them nor any means to get it.
    Take a close look at Hillary while she was SOS – a job highly unqualified to do – while operating secretly on her server – intended to keep it our of the investigative committees.
    She started her long career with lying; her husband started the same way and now have their daughter in the thick of it as well.

    This family is not only criminally corrupted but reprehensible and a sad example of americans!