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Obama’s Best Jokes From the Gridiron Dinner

Saturday night was the annual dinner of the Gridiron Club, an exclusive group of journalists who join only by invitation, and only when an existing member dies or becomes a public relations executive.

It’s the journalism equivalent of the super-in crowd. Which is not really what journalism is supposed to be like, but no matter.

Maybe I’m just sore because I’ll never be invited to join!

Anyway, Obama doesn’t always attend, but this year he did, and he had a few good lines. Here are the best them, IMO:

*******

This is my third appearance at this dinner as President.  And I predict you will laugh harder than ever.  I’m not saying I’m any funnier.  I’m saying weed is now legal in D.C.

*******

It is amazing, though, how time flies.  Just a few years ago, I could never imagine ever being in my fifties.  And when it comes to my approval ratings, I still cant.

I mean, think about how things have changed since 2008.  Back then, I was the young, tech-savvy candidate of the future.  Now Im yesterdays news and Hillary has got a server in her house.

*******

The other week (Gov. Scott Walker) said he didnt know whether or not I was a Christian.  And I was taken aback, but fortunately my faith teaches us forgiveness.  So, Governor Walker, as-salamu alaykum.

Scott also recently punted on a question of evolution, which I do think is a problem.  I absolutely believe in the theory of evolution — when it comes to gay marriage.

And, finally, Governor Walker got some heat for staying silent when Rudy Giuliani said I dont love America — which I also think is a problem.  Think about it, Scott — if I did not love America, I wouldnt have moved here from Kenya.

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The fact is, I really genuinely like John Boehner.  But from your press reports, I gather he may be in real trouble.  Over the past several weeks, many of you have been writing about a possible conservative coup — or as Bill OReilly calls it, “reporting from the war zone.”

*******

And as much as I like to make fun of my friends in the GOP and the media, its not like this is an easy time to be a Democrat.  Theyre turning last years midterms into a movie; it’s called “50 Shades of Red.”

But, as was noted, we are determined to bounce back.  The Democratic Party recently analyzed the midterm elections, and concluded we have to spend more time focused on older white voters — which is why I’m here.

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30 Responses to Obama’s Best Jokes From the Gridiron Dinner

  1. Sorry, Keith, but I’m not laughing. Some of the “jokes” are about very serious issues, e.g. Hillary’s private server. Going for laughs trivializes it.

  2. Dinner with the monster, insane. He knows he is destroying our way of life and he loves it!

    With GOP fellow travelers helping him its the end of our country. What fun? Give him a kiss Mr boner.

    With open arms greet our new leaders, while we learn Spanish so we can understand what they are saying.

    Visit the DMV in California to see what your new life is like.

    Singing
    “we had fun fun fun till obama took our country awaaay.”

  3. MrsObama thinks she’s cute with her dance routines and ‘little ‘ol me’ attitude, so it’s only fitting that the Mr thinks he can have his own late night comedy show.
    Maybe they can be together on the “BO and MO” show.
    She’s not cute and he’s not funny.

    • Agree :-) Especially the “she’s not cute and he’s not funny!” Problem with them is, shows we don’t like we can tune out…hard to do that with them!

    • Now, now…look at the progress she’s made over the past six years. When she arrived in D.C., all she had was a hula hoop and a blue/white sleeveless cotton dress from J.C. Penney. (Camp David photo–2009).

      Wonder how much it’s costing taxpayers for the heifer’s ‘hoofer’ lessons.

    • Well, well now.
      Maybe you have hit on something srdem.

      Possibly a bit of competition between the two wannabe celebs ?

      At any rate, it is disgusting.

  4. Using the presidency of the US just to get on stage in front of the cameras and on national media is a dream come true for these people.

    They think that the intelligent people are falling all over themselves to adore them in all their glory.
    Fact is,…they aren’t.

    But they don’t care as they control the stage, they think.

    One snap of the fingers and the media sits up and begs.

    To those of us that love this Country,..the bloom has been off the rose for a long time.

    The corruption that is prevalent in this administration has and is being exposed for years and it is due to the persistence of many conservative agencies that never say die, never give up, and are relentless in getting to the truth.

    We will prevail, have no doubt.
    The truth is on our side, and it always wins.

  5. Not surprising that the President came up with some good one liners….been doing that for over 6 years…badda boom, cha…

    And is this any different than what he does every single day? He reads prepared words from others and recites them to the crowd….boring us all to tears.

    H

  6. “… I’m not saying I’m any funnier. I’m saying weed is now legal in D.C.” – B. Obama Sadly, Mr. President, you are wrong about this factoid, as you are wrong about most actual laws. While the DC government has accepted “weed”, it is still ILlegal under FEDERAL law – you know, the ones you swore to “take care” to enforce? And, as you so quickly remind us in OTHER matters, Federal laws supercede state and local ones. Just because you’ve chosen not to ENFORCE certain laws does NOT abrogate them. So your “Choom” is still, yes, NOT legal. Although I’ll concede your other point. No, you’re no funnier. Nothing you’re doing to this Country is very funny, except maybe to ISIS, Al Qaida, and Iran…

  7. The nicest thing I can say about this is at least he didn’t start his speech with audio of a toilet flushing as he did several years ago.

  8. One quibble about the headline. Those aren’t Obama’s best jokes, they were written for him by someone else, more likely a group of comedy writers. Like everything else about Obama, he didn’t really write it, he didn’t really build it and he didn’t really do it. The man is a fraud.