As of now, I am in control here, in the White House

White House Decides to Build a Bigger Fence

Now we’re making sense. The White House has settled on the most obvious solution to its security problem: Make it more difficult for people to jump over the barrier between the public and the president.

On September 23, I wrote, as some of our fellow citizens were leaping over the fence and storming into the East Room, that the issue was not as complicated as people were making it:

You don’t always need high technology or a study from the RAND Corporation to solve a problem.

So amid all the agonizing about what to do about White House fence jumpers who might again make it into the building, I have a solution.

Here it is.

Are you ready?

Build a bigger fence.

That’s right. Employing the time-tested theory, Good fences make good neighbors, I have determined that the solution to the president’s problem is to increase the size of the current fence, which stands at seven and a half feet.

I wasn’t being tongue-in-cheek. I thought it was a good idea. And today at the White House, I noticed this and snapped a photo.

White House fence

The original White House fence on Pennsylvania Avenue is to the right. You can see that a portion of it has been removed and the new fence, which looks two or three feet higher than the old one, is being placed another ten feet or so further out into the sidewalk. I assume the rest will be removed and backed up as work continues.

Notice they are constructing a little area between the grass and the new fence and the grass. Now, me, I’d put a moat there and populate it with man-eating alligators in the summer – believe me, alligators would love the Washington summer – and great white sharks in the winter. Or I’d cement rows of upturned serrated steak knives into the pavement. But that’s just me.

Probably what they’ll do is stock it with some prickly bushes designed to ensnare or slow an intruder, but which will probably do nothing against your average lunatic high on adrenaline or PCP.

But at least they’re taking a reasonable step. Maniacs demanding breakfast in the State Dining Room is not a welcome prospect, even if we call it “the people’s house.”

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42 Responses to White House Decides to Build a Bigger Fence

  1. Step #2: Move the White House to the southern border and we’ll see an even higher fence, more security and the Secret Service dressed as alligators.

  2. OT NY police not indicted. Now there will be a federal indictment. So, that’s justice in America. If a black person is killed and there is no indictment then the federal government will move for an indictment.

    Now. if the victim is white …..

    And why should the federal government be involved in all of these indictments? Why have a state legal system at all?

      • Both Lynch and Holder announced investigation.

        White boy cop will go down. Despite what Krauthammer says — there is no evidence that he was choked, and no matter the pettiness of the crime it is against the law to resist arrest. It is more likely he died of a heart attack. Also it was not a chokehold.

        But it doesn’t matter. There will be no justice in the United States as long as race is the determining factor. If I was a cop and I saw a black person involved in a crime, I would put my hands in my pockets and walk on by — or just keep driving.

        This black american injustice is bullshit and will be used to further destroy this country.

    • A couple of observations.

      The first:

      “The video, case closed” was The Narrative in the Rodney King case. But The Whole Story is invariably much messier, and it’s NEVER as pat, as The Narrative would have the public believe. In the King case, there was more to the incident than what was on the video, and a LOT more to the incident than what was in the most incriminating thirty seconds of that video.

      If you take less than two minutes of isolated cuts out of context, you can make “The Shining” look like a light comedy (yes, it has been done). We only have access to one short video; we do NOT, as yet, have access to the testimony of any of the witnesses, or any of the other evidence–incriminating or exculpatory–which the grand jury was evaluating.

      We do not have The Whole Story just yet, but we’re assuming, incorrectly, that we do. There was more to The Whole Story in the King case that The Narrative left out then, and there’s more to The Whole Story in this case that The Narrative is leaving out now.

      The Narrative is never The Whole Story, and yet we’re acting like it is.

      You can’t judge a book by its cover, and you can’t judge a movie by its trailer. And if it’s true that you can’t judge a book by its movie, then you REALLY can’t judge a book by its movie trailer.

      And yet, in a sense, that’s what we’re doing, as a public, in this case.

      The second:

      “It was just cigarettes” is, again, not The Whole Story. New York’s taxes on tobacco are extremely high, and there was a law passed in 2013 (Local Law 97, Sensible Tobacco Enforcement) whose Legislative Findings laid out the city council’s justification for those high taxes.

      However, looking for a fair price, and despising tax collectors, are human behaviors which stretch back to antiquity. And no amount of Government Busybodying is ever going to change that.

      So when Government Busybodies artificially inflate prices via taxation–even for what are assumed to be noble reasons–then black markets will predictably crop up once prices get too high.

      Government Busybodies see black markets as an affront to their self-assumed enlightenment. So black markets will predictably be cracked down upon.

      The real tragedy here, then, is that if there had been no black market for cigarettes in New York, there would have been no law enforcement interest in Mr. Garner’s actions.

      By arresting Mr. Garner for black market cigarette sales, the police were simply enforcing the will of the Government Busybodies.

      We can certainly debate whether or not Mr. Garner would still be alive had law enforcement used a different level of force.

      But Mr. Garner would INDISPUTABLY still be alive, if law enforcement had taken no interest in his activities to begin with; and the only reason they even TOOK that interest, was to enforce the will of the Government Busybodies.

      The sequence of events which led to Mr. Garner’s death did NOT begin with his encounter with the police; no, it began when the Government Busybodies took offense at the public’s desire for a fair price, and rejection of its high tax rates.

      The police did not kill Mr. Garner; the Government Busybodies did.

      • Over $10 a pack for cigarettes in NYC, most of cost is taxes. Government Busybodies indeed.
        And while I’m here, the media keeps using the term “chokehold”, which IMO , is a distortion.
        When I went thru training, a ” takedown ” hold was taught.
        But it was empathized that if applied IMPROPERLY it could become a chokehold. Bruce Lee and Chuck Norris make it look easy, but it ain’t.

      • This argument that it was sort of the cigarettes’ fault or the nanny state’s is, to me, a separate issue. He also would not have been forcibly restrained had he never been born, hadn’t gone to work that day (his work). These arguments lead to insanity, honestly. Is there a rash of arrest resisters and/or po-ed cops all over NY because of cig prices?

  3. Thanks for the stat on the fence. Finally they are doing something for the better good. It didn’t take years disagreement to tackle the project.

  4. Build a fence on the US border.

    As for the WH – have the secret service patrol the grounds. I am not opposed to building a fence for the President’s protection — just saying that the country deserves the same.

  5. Once secure, tents should be erected and the area used as a base camp for the OHSMODSF Obama/Holder/Sharpton Mob on Demand Special Force.

  6. What is this, a 1950s solution to a 2014 problem. What are the Secret Service guys doing in the WhiteHouse if they can’t patrol a fence, or find some tech-y way to see what’s happening on the whole perimeter?
    I’m not against a bigger fence, but that won’t stop a dedicated nutjob from scaling it for a chance to take a selfie in the Situation Room

    Let’s remember how the illegals figured out how to scale a 12ft fence on our Arizona border – they used a ladder, and then used a metal ramp to drive their pickup over the fence.
    A too-high fence only brings out the ingenuity of the people.

    • Perhaps … but what if this is a fence to keep people in ….? I can’t see ValJar hiking up her skirts to clamor over, nor the boy king taking it in a single bound, let alone Mooch trying to haul herself over the top….just sayin’…about that fence … and the multiple uses of a fence …..just sayin’

    • Many years ago I bought a home in the inner city with an 8 foot chain fence enclosing the backyard. I felt pretty secure about it until one day some kids playing an adjacent vacant lot knocked a tennis ball over my fence. Before I could take two steps to grab the ball and throw it back to them, a 4-foot skinny little kid had scaled the fence, picked up the ball, and was back on the other side. Fences are more about decor than function IMHO.

  7. Well, now, let’s not get all hasty about getting that fence up. Maybe in a couple of years is time enough and maybe at the end of them, the fence wouldn’t have to be higher to protect a President. (joke).

  8. They should secure the border so well. During Bush administration it was approved by Congress and signed by Bush to secure the border with better fencing system. It never got completed. What happened? What is Mexico (govt) doing about the tunneling system between Mexico and US. The attitude of Mexican govt should be changed because their attitude in past and present presents the case of an invasion, not just illegal immigrants “looking for a better life”.

  9. Does anyone in the “WH press corps” have the GUTS to ask:
    -‘why is it OK to build a higher fence at the White House, but not OK to build a fence at the US-Mexico border?’

  10. If a taller fence is good enough for the White Hut, why isn’t it good enough for the southern border? Remember Pelosi saying building a fence wouldn’t secure the border any more than it is. Hmmm.

  11. Fences work well which ever side of it your on. You can keep critters in or keep critters out. Then there are the critters that travel back and forth on the top of the fence. Squirrels, cats, rats, and bureaucrats. Elected officials try to do the balance act on the top, but seem to always lose credibility, and fall off one side or the other..

  12. Land mines – this solves a couple of issues (1) you can off set the cost by cutting staff and once the staff becomes unemployed (2) they can sign up for Obamacare, thus increasing the enrollment numbers; (3) once or maybe even twice some jumps the fences and gets blown up a lesson may be learned; and no need to pick up the bodies because (4) they can allow for natural decomposition to occur and fertilize the lawn – minimal chemicals involved

    This is a win-win-win for everyone – protect the White House; Cut Costs; and Increase Obamacarecare sign up numbers

  13. Speaking of knives embedded on the top of the fence, I noticed in my travels to various 3rd world countries that they routinely morter in shards of broken glass on the top ledge.
    I’m sure a thick mat of some sort could be thrown over the top, but it deters the casual interloper.

    I was going to comment on the fact that Little O gets a higher fence, while our border fence remains the same, but you all beat me to it.

  14. Well Keith I think you have finally been in DC to long. You’re answer to a problem was to SPEND MORE MONEY. The country is 18 trillion in debt what’s a couple dollars of taxpayer money more going to do to the country.
    You’re idea of a bigger fence and longer run to the White House. Well how about this cost free way of doing it 1) First fire and NOT transfer the idiots on duty that day that should have been able to do something 2) Figure out why a White House door was unlocked. Don’t know of many people who leave there front door unlocked anymore and 3) What qualifications are needed by a secret service agent to work on the inside of the White House. It should have been the most securely guarded area.
    Thanks for reading. Bob

  15. So they finally understand a good fence makes good neighbors. I hope it protects the White House. How about a good high fence at the southern border to protect The USA. No that won’t work Obama puts politics ahead of defending the USA.