This is so great. I am speechless.
But I can still write.
Look what arrived yesterday in my Inbox. Scarlett Johansson sent me a personal email!
Here’s her message. I want to share it with you, and the world.
I think you know by now how incredibly high the stakes are on November 4th, especially for women. And if we don’t want to wake up on November 5th and find ourselves on the fast track back in time on women’s rights, it’s critical that Democrats vote.
That starts with you, Keith . . .
It starts with me! This person is starting with me!
Well, let me tell you something, I’m starting with her too.
Uh oh. Wait a second. She thinks I’m an idiot. Scarlett Johansson thinks I’m an idiot! She thinks I don’t know where to go to vote.
Will you take a moment to confirm your polling place, and then forward this email to three of your friends?
. . . So please, even if you remember your polling place, take a moment to confirm that it hasn’t changed, and check that your friends and family have a plan for where and when to vote.
It’s the school a couple of blocks away Scarlett. Gosh, this this is really getting off on the wrong foot.
Whoa. Look at this.
If the Republicans take back the Senate, one of the first things they will try to dismantle will be a woman’s right to make her own personal health care decisions. This year, I have been appalled again and again by decisions from the GOP and even the Supreme Court that attack a woman’s right to choose, and this is our chance to take action.
Our votes on Tuesday are all that can stop Republicans from doing even more damage.
Scare tactics? Scarlett Johansson engaging in scare tactics? Republicans are going to “dismantle” a woman’s “right” to make her own healthcare decisions. How? By not forcing every employer to fund their employees’ unlimited premarital sex?
Scarlett. I mean, I was quite impressed when you didn’t bow to the international leftist anti-Israel crowd and kept right on selling SodaStream soda, even though it’s going to fatten up the IDF a bit. But does it ever occur to you that these are the same geniuses who would agree with you about mandatory birth control coverage?
Thanks for stepping up, Keith. And if you get your friends to vote, tell them thanks from me!
Gosh, it’s hard to resist an appeal to my manhood, “stepping up” for Scarlett and all. But alas, next thing you know, she’s going to be calling me a right-wing racist.
Or maybe, even, a Zionist.