As of now, I am in control here, in the White House

Scarlett Johansson Emails Keith Koffler!

This is so great. I am speechless.

But I can still write.

Look what arrived yesterday in my Inbox. Scarlett Johansson sent me a personal email!

Screen Shot 2014-11-03 at 11.27.33 AM

Here’s her message. I want to share it with you, and the world.

Keith —

I think you know by now how incredibly high the stakes are on November 4th, especially for women. And if we don’t want to wake up on November 5th and find ourselves on the fast track back in time on women’s rights, it’s critical that Democrats vote.

That starts with you, Keith . . .

It starts with me! This person is starting with me!

Scarlett Johanssonjpg

Well, let me tell you something, I’m starting with her too.

Uh oh. Wait a second. She thinks I’m an idiot. Scarlett Johansson thinks I’m an idiot! She thinks I don’t know where to go to vote.

Will you take a moment to confirm your polling place, and then forward this email to three of your friends?

http://my.democrats.org/Lookup

. . . So please, even if you remember your polling place, take a moment to confirm that it hasn’t changed, and check that your friends and family have a plan for where and when to vote.

It’s the school a couple of blocks away Scarlett. Gosh, this this is really getting off on the wrong foot.

Whoa. Look at this.

If the Republicans take back the Senate, one of the first things they will try to dismantle will be a woman’s right to make her own personal health care decisions. This year, I have been appalled again and again by decisions from the GOP and even the Supreme Court that attack a woman’s right to choose, and this is our chance to take action.

Our votes on Tuesday are all that can stop Republicans from doing even more damage.

Scare tactics? Scarlett Johansson engaging in scare tactics? Republicans are going to “dismantle” a woman’s “right” to make her own healthcare decisions. How? By not forcing every employer to fund their employees’ unlimited premarital sex?

Scarlett. I mean, I was quite impressed when you didn’t bow to the international leftist anti-Israel crowd and kept right on selling SodaStream soda, even though it’s going to fatten up the IDF a bit. But does it ever occur to you that these are the same geniuses who would agree with you about mandatory birth control coverage?

Thanks for stepping up, Keith. And if you get your friends to vote, tell them thanks from me!

Scarlett Johansson

Gosh, it’s hard to resist an appeal to my manhood, “stepping up” for Scarlett and all. But alas, next thing you know, she’s going to be calling me a right-wing racist.

Or maybe, even, a Zionist.

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70 Responses to Scarlett Johansson Emails Keith Koffler!

  1. Well Keith, I may not be a “friend” in the person to person, known you for years definition but I assure you this “friend” is most definitely going to vote tomorrow and it won’t be for the party that demands others pay for a woman’s individual choice to use birth control.

  2. With auto and home insurance we insure against catastrophic losses. In years past health insurance was similar in that routine care (including birth control) was paid by individuals; extraordinary costs were paid by insurance.

    I remember it being a major change when my husbands employer would pay a set amount towards a physical for the employee only; well child checkups were the responsibility of the parents. At some point it was decided that the model would change to having the insurance pay for routine expenses and the individual take on more of the costs of catastrophic care.

    I wish someone should explain the logic of the different models of insurance coverage. People are far more careful about unnecessary expenditures if they are paying for them. Would not health insurance returning to the former catastrophic coverage be more economical and logical?

    • I don’t know if it would be more economical and logical but given first reports of next year’s dismal coverage it appears to be inevitable.

    • Cee, in “the old days”, healthy young families & individuals could choose the high deductible ‘catastrophic’ coverage & save money. They had that personal choice. Now, with the government involved in all our healthcare decisions, that high deductible coverage costs more for less resultant care. The government has certain people believing the great deals they can get through them. When in reality the old employer or individual plans had much more for much less. Health ins has been corrupted & degraded for all, by the intrusion of govt regulations; we all would be happier & healthier unwrapping their strong arms from our throats.

      • Exactly. That’s a perfect description of how it used to be and how it is now.

        What’s interesting is that in all the discussion leading up to Obamacare, I never once heard ANY mention of deductibles. O just lied over and over again and said the average family would save about $2,500 a year on premiums. A total lie, we knew then and we know now. But, no one ever mentioned deductibles. High deductibles have now become the norm. What we’re left with is higher premiums, higher deductibles, and crappy plans. Plus, little to no choice. The entire mess has to be repealed!

        • ACA does need repealed. We need a smart strong person
          (people) to get the govt out of healthcare.
          We (my husband & I) now have a huge deductible & RX costs out the roof!
          I worked many years with group health plans. Plans that were created by the employers, supposedly with their best interest in mind. The employees complained to us, the payors, for their ‘crappy’ plan. Little did they know how bad it would get.

  3. I’m a bit jealous. My latest email is from the Kentucky Auditor for Public Accounts, telling me to save the state from Mitch McConnell. This on top of a DCCC urging me to help humiliate Mitt Romney, along with pleas (and triple and quadruple match offers for my money — from whom, I wonder). These people sure are desperate for my $5. Pelosi, Reid, both Obamas, both Clintons, Robert Reich, Elizabeth Warren, Barbra Streisand, Patty Murray, Debbie Wasserman Schultz, Al Gore, Joe Biden, Donna Brazile, Al Franken, the governor of Kentucky, Bernie Sanders and Steve Israel have begged for my money.

    If they’ll go to this much effort for my lousy $5 — which will apparently decide the election, what will they do for all those one per centers who can really give them some buck for their bang?

  4. Man to God: “God, why did you make woman so beautiful?”
    God to Man: “So you would love her.”
    “But God”, Man says, “why did you make her so dumb?”
    God replies: “So she would love you.”
    I had high hopes for Ms. Johansson when she refused to be bullied over her SodaStream endorsement, but now she wrecked it. She just wrecked it all.

      • No, I looked it up and she was born and raised in NYC. Maybe you’re confusing her with Charlize Theron, who was born in South Africa?

        Btw, Wikipedia says Scarlett is Jewish on her mother’s side. As far as the SodaStream controversy, Wiki has this blurb:

        http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scarlett_Johansson

        In 2005, Johansson became a Global Ambassador for the aid and development agency Oxfam.[211] In March 2008, a UK-based bidder paid £20,000 on an eBay auction to benefit Oxfam, winning a hair and makeup treatment, a pair of tickets and a chauffered trip to accompany Johansson on a 20-minute date to the world premiere of He’s Just Not That Into You.[212]

        In January 2014, Johansson resigned from her Oxfam position after facing criticism[213] for her promotion of SodaStream, whose main factory is based in Mishor Adumim, an Israeli settlement in the West Bank, as Oxfam opposes all trade with Israeli settlements.[214] Johansson said she and Oxfam “have a fundamental difference of opinion in regards to the Boycott, Divestment and Sanctions movement”.[215] In response to her resignation, Oxfam stated that it was “grateful for her many contributions … [in] helping to highlight the impact of natural disasters and raise funds to save lives and fight poverty”.[216][217]

    • Proof that Hollywood is idiotic. It reminds me of an old story about Isadora Duncan and George Bernard Shaw. She wanted to have a child with him and said, think of it, a child with my beauty and your brains. He is supposed to have answered but what if it had my looks and your brains?

  5. She’s a left wing, Hollywood Elitist. Of COURSE she thinks you’re stupid!! You aren’t one of “them”. BTW does anyone know if any health insurance pays for condoms?

  6. I’m sorry, but she sent me the same e-mail. I know, I know. You can’t trust anyone today, she’s a two-timer. She’s pretending that you’re special to her, but, alas, she’s just another flirt.

  7. “…dismantle will be a woman’s right to make her own personal health care decisions.”

    Ms. Johannsson has apparently never heard of Obamacare, because this fits the textbook definition of what its implementation did for millions of women and their families.

    • Exactly! The party always screaming about “choice” rammed through Obamacare where we no longer have the choice to decide what type of health insurance works best for ourselves and our families.

  8. This was flat out hysterical. Thanks Keith.

    Not that I am in anyway doubting the personal nature of your relationship with Ms. Johansson. Your sharing was big in my life!

    I have already voted, but I best go and double check. Perhaps I went to the wrong place and they changed my vote! Thanks to you and Scarlett for the heads up.

      • The second Captain America movie–what the heck happened to her looks? Her career probably only has a few years left anyway. Actresses over forty all say it is a young woman’s game with very few opportunities after forty. Here and there an occasional Judi Dench or Helen Mirren, but most of the actresses who made it on their looks fall quickly.

  9. Let’s see, ScarJo (I’m told she HATES that moniker) wants you Democ-rats to get out and vote. A University of New Mexico Prof tells students they should “vote as OFTEN as possible” and now the FLOTUS tells Black people they should ALWAYS vote Democrat. No matter what they may have said or done. Nice. That’s right Black Folks. Don’t be using your brains. You might realize we liberals are the biggest enemy you’ve ever faced!!!

  10. Keith, this was humorous and I chuckled as I read it.
    But, after reading this and the ensuing comments (clearly showing the hypocrisy of the Democratic Party members) and after a quick perusal of fb and Drudge….
    Today, my only thought is that we are lost.
    Why would anyone listen to this woman or her cohorts? Actors and actresses make a living by playing “let’s pretend” their entire lives!
    Why would anyone read the books or see the movie “50 Shades of Gray” – it is obviously a story about pedophilia… (a fb posting I saw this morn,)
    Drudge includes a link where Orman apologizes to Dole – and the apology has something to do with clowns and clown cars.
    Have we lost the ability to be serious minded? Do we no longer have the skill set for critical thinking?
    Dear Lord, have mercy. We are so lost…

    • The democrats are one big sect with no empathy for a little country like Israel only trying to survive, have no common sense, and no respect for human life and that includes he women on the Supreme Court. Dumb and Lost.

  11. I am surprised that she is another dumb bunny. All democrats do is kill babies and she’s worried about womens’ rights? How about babies rights? Human life thrown in the garbage. millions of human beings thrown away, thanks to the democrats and she’s worried about the Republicans? Tell her that the new democrat/communist party doesn’t believe in God anymore either, they just believe in the party, just like the communists and the nazis did. Tell her Keith! How does a person get so dumb that they don’t see the forest from the trees?