As of now, I am in control here, in the White House

CDC Hires Dr. Seuss to Teach About Ebola

In a surprise development, the Centers for Disease Control has enlisted Dr. Seuss to teach about Ebola. Given the conflicting statements that have come out of the administration about how Ebola can be transmitted, the CDC felt Dr. Seuss could provide some clarity.

*******

That Ebola virus! That Ebola virus!
I like it less than Mylie Cyrus.

Can I get it on a bus?

You cannot get it on a bus,
Unless someone is oozing pus.

Can I get in on a plane? 

You cannot get it on a plane,
A bus, a plane, it’s all the same.
You cannot get it on a bus,
Unless someone is oozing pus.

Well can I get it from the Druids?

You cannot get it from the Druids,
Unless you’re exposed to their bodily fluids.
You cannot get it on a plane,
A bus, a plane, it’s all the same.
And you cannot get it on a bus,
Unless someone is oozing pus.

Then can I get it from a sneeze?

A sneeze! Oh please! Not from a sneeze!
You would not, could not, from a sneeze,
Unless an open wound it sees.

Not from a sneeze,
Not from the Druids,
Only from their internal fluids
Not on a plane,
Not on a bus,
Unless someone is oozing pus.

Can I get it from a doorknob?

Well I suppose if there was some poor-slob,
Who slobbered all over your bedroom doorknob,
Then you could come down with a bad case of Ebola
And soon you’d be drinking your last Pepsi Cola.

But you cannot get it from a sneeze,
Unless an open wound it sees.
Nor can you get it from the Druids,
Unless you’re exposed to their bodily fluids.
You cannot get it on a plane,
A bus, a plane, it’s all the same.
And you cannot get it on a bus,
Unless someone is oozing pus.

So I CAN get Ebola then, is that right?

Who the Hell knows? Now say goodnight!

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27 Responses to CDC Hires Dr. Seuss to Teach About Ebola

  1. Very funny… and honestly, reading the first paragraph before the poem starts, I really didn’t know if it was legit or a joke. You never know with this wasteful administration.

  2. Excellent, Keith! Very funny, and it reminds me of my days reading the Dr. Seuss books over and over again at bedtime with my son. I have a feeling you’ve spent your share of time doing the same.

  3. OT: I forgot to mention: Edwin Edwards is running for Congress, here in Louisiana. Anyone like to guess if Ray Naqin will attempt to run for office in the future as well. It is going to be a long……day tomorrow!

      • Ugh, Holder just does this to imply that the evil Republicans are trying to suppress votes.

        Thanks for the link, Grace.

        Lee, here’s the whole article:

        The Department of Justice plans to send federal monitors to 18 states to watch for discrimination against voters.

        Monitors will head to Arizona, California, Florida, Georgia, Illinois, Kansas, North Carolina, Nebraska, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, Ohio, Pennsylvania, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas and Wisconsin.

        “One of the Justice Department’s most sacred responsibilities is ensuring access to the ballot box for every eligible American,” Attorney General Eric Holder said in a video message on the department’s website.

        “I want the American people to know that the Justice Department will stand vigilant — working in a fair and nonpartisan manner to ensure that every voter can cast his or her ballot free of intimidation, discrimination or obstruction,” he said.

        This is the first major federal election since the Supreme Court overturned parts of the Voting Rights Act in Shelby County v. Holder.

        The Court ruled that the formula used to determine which states needed to clear voting rights changes by the Justice Department was unconstitutional. That allowed nine states, as well as some counties in other states, to change voting laws without checking with the Justice Department to ensure that the changes aren’t discriminatory.

        Holder used his statement to slam voter ID laws in a number of states. He called those laws “restrictive,” “burdensome” and “out of step with history.” But he emphasized that the Justice Department has to protect existing laws.

        The DOJ will also have toll-free lines for voters to bring civil rights complaints, as well as the email address voting.section@usdoj.gov and a fax number. It will also work with the FBI and the U.S. Attorneys Office to investigate election crimes.

  4. So, if it does not work as planned, WH can blame Dr. Seuss for bent wrong. They are looking to find who they can blame. it was not Bush for sure!

  5. You can get if someone who has it sneezes on you or drips on you or they sweat near you and that could be anywhere, train, plane, bus, street. Very dangerous disease, thousands have died, its death. Time will tell if a lot of people here get it because of Obama and no travel ban, no quaranteens, he wants us to get it otherwise he would do what all other countries are doing, but no, not Obama. To err on the side of caution would be too easy for Obama, its only death that we could be facing. You can’t make this stuff up.

  6. For me, the two very worst parts of the entire Ebola fiasco are:

    The often contradictory advice and information from people who are educated and compensated to create data bases/update them and provide proactive treatment /prevention options- CDC, DHS, etc.

    The startingly high number of health care providers who contract Ebola indicates airborne transmission. Many are experienced care providers and aren’t violating protocol- imho.