In recent days, Vice President Biden has issued apologies to the no doubt unimpeachably honorable and suitably aggrieved leaders of Turkey and the United Arab Emirates for insulting them by saying they had supported Islamists.
While Biden expressing serial regrets, I wonder, what if the thought occurred to him to apologize to the American people? Not for silly gaffes or little blunders, but for professional-league, first-class outrages that are unacceptable coming from a vice president, even this one.
He might say . . .
1. I am sorry for telling an audience of African Americans during the campaign that Mitt Romney was “going to put you all back in chains.”
2. I am sorry for mocking Republican vice presidential candidate Rep. Paul Ryan during the debate with constant, staged, laughter. Not only was the giggling insulting, nasty and inappropriate, it was undignified for a vice president and even scarily odd.
3. I am sorry for opposing the special forces raid that took out Osama Bin Laden. Thank God the president didn’t take my advice.
4. I am sorry for revealing that the Navy SEALs killed Bin Laden.
5. I am sorry for making an adjusted gross income of $385,072 in 2012 and giving only 1.9 percent of it to charity, a percentage similar to the minuscule amounts I had given in the past.
6. I am sorry for telling Americans to walk out on their balconies and fire a double barrel shotgun into the air to scare off a potential intruder. It’s a felony in many states and someone was actually arrested for taking my advice.
7. I am sorry for comparing Republicans during the 2012 campaign to the Know Nothing Party, a xenophobic and sometimes violently anti-Catholic and anti-immigrant movement that existed during the 1850s.
8. I am sorry for excusing the Chinese for their barbaric “one child policy,” which is not only an oppressive, totalitarian measure but one that has resulted in the death of little girls.
9. I am sorry for saying in 2010 that President Obama’s Iraq policy could go down as one of Obama’s “great achievements.” It wasn’t his achievement, it was Bush’s, and he was actually in the process of screwing it up.