Poor President Obama. He’s trying so hard not to have a war. War is so George W. Bush. Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize. He learned all about Republican warmongers in college and, over bong hits with his poli sci professor, discussed how he was so much better than nutjobs like Ronald Reagan who would invade Granada and finance the Contras and so forth.
But now there are these bad guys in Iraq WHO WON’T LISTEN TO REASON and who want to hurt Americans. And the Iraqi army is too pitiful to defeat them. And so Obama had to send over American troops. But, goodness, they’re only going to offer “advice,” like, Hey, you point the barrel of the gun away from you. Stuff like that. But no combat! That’s for people like Bush and Reagan.
But, whoa, Joint Chiefs of Staff Chairman Martin Dempsey today told the Senate Armed Services Committee that maybe these advisors are going . . . into battle! Now they’ll have to offer other advice, like Look out! and Duck!
Or maybe even . . . I got this . . .
If we reach the point where I believe our advisors should accompany Iraq troops on attack against specific ISIL targets I’ll recommend that to the president.