The al Qaeda-linked Jihadist rebels in Iraq have formally suspended operations while President Obama takes a three-day vacation in Palm Springs.
The group, which last week took Iraq’s second-largest city, Mosul, and which had been pressing on toward Baghdad, said it didn’t want to interfere with the president’s plans.
“President Obama is tired from all the work he does, and he means well,” said Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, head of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, or ISIS. “We don’t think it’s fair to wage this war while the president is away from Washington raising money for the DNC and relaxing.”
White House officials expressed gratitude for the gesture, but said they were not surprised.
“Unlike Republicans in Congress, the Islamists in Iraq understand that President Obama wants what’s good for them and knows what’s best for them,” said White House Press Secretary Jay Carney. “We expect nothing less than for the Islamists to wait until the president is ready to deal with them.”
Obama has asked his advisors to come up with options for combating the rebels. It’s unclear if the options will be ready before they have overrun Baghdad.
However, sources said Obama was temporarily out of touch with military commanders due to a logistical problem.
“The president this morning spilled a piña colada on his communications console,” an aide said. “Nothing seems to be working, and it’s making a funny noise.”
Technicians have been diverted from fixing the Obamacare website to immediately address the problem.