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President Obama’s Five-Step Scandal Manual

by Keith Koffler on May 27, 2014, 11:40 am

The Wall Street Journal’s Kimberly Strassel has uncovered the five-step Obama White House approach to scandals.

Spoiler alert: None of it has anything to do with, “The buck stops here.”

Here is the secret recipe:

Step One: Say, “I didn’t know about it.

Step Two: Say, “Nobody’s angrier than me.”

Step Three: Fire someone of little consequence.

Step Four: Do a study.

Now, wait six months and then . . .

Step Five: Say everything’s fine or blame Republicans for the problem.

Don’t try this on your own, because the FBI will come calling. Obama has patented the procedure and plans to market it to future White Houses.

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{ 39 comments }

Artcat May 27, 2014 at 11:50 am

Have to disagree with Step 3. No one ever gets fired in this administratio (in the manner people get fired in the real world). They “step down” even though they were retiring soon anyway.

Scottso May 27, 2014 at 12:21 pm

exactly.
The IRS, VA etc.
Those people were already resigning.

Artcat May 27, 2014 at 1:12 pm

And they maintain their healthy retirement packages.

Jimbo May 30, 2014 at 1:06 pm

Or are “fired” by moving them sideways, or allowed to retire with full benefits ala the IRS’ Lois Lerner…

Car in May 27, 2014 at 11:52 am

Plus, it’s ancient news. Dude, that was like two years ago.

Car in May 27, 2014 at 11:53 am

Plus, Bush’s fault.

WNY_ROC May 27, 2014 at 12:01 pm

Then there is the corollary five-step scandal manual the democrats in Congress and the various Cabinet members follow to support the president:

1) Declare scandal as a republican witch hunt;
2) Cite that there have been four or five investigations that have turned up nothing;
3) Imply that the scandal is really code for racist hate for the president;
4) Rant that this trumped up scandal is taking us away from the real work that Americans have asked them to do – which is grow the economy and jobs; and finally
5) Find similar ways to say: “What difference at this point does it make?”

Sadie May 27, 2014 at 3:51 pm

!

The Business May 27, 2014 at 5:34 pm

nice.

Jimbo May 30, 2014 at 1:05 pm

+1!
And rest assured the lamestream media will
1) dutifully parrot the sham of an “explanation”, attacking Republicans as “naysayers”, “racists”, or “obstructionists”

2) exhibit NO interest in digging into the situation.

James Crawford May 27, 2014 at 12:29 pm

Obama’s favorite variant of Step 5 is to blame President Bush for it.

srdem65 May 27, 2014 at 12:35 pm

She makes good points and might have seen an actual memo that hangs somewhere in the Oval Office.
The problem is that @45% of the public doesn’t care enough to care what he does, only what he says.
Case: on the previous post a commenter defends MrO’s whole presidency, and even thinks he’s going to leave a “legacy”. She claims all the scandals are phony, and anyone who is not enthralled with MrO is either a FOXnews watcher, or a Repub, both of whom she infers are not to be trusted.
However cynical his actions, or non-actions, it’s working for him with his base. If he does nothing but just mentions that it upset him, then it’s good enough to get him a pass, because, as our new commenter posited, he’s the best thing since both Bushs’ , and a boon to the country.

In fairness; we don’t expect the POTUS to know everything about every domestic scandal or trouble, but we do expect some action, either from him or the person in charge of the troubled agency. If the problem is the person in charge, then MrO must act.
With all of the news and information on the VA’s lack of care for it’s charges, no additional inquiry was called for, but a actionable plan was, no matter if it fixed the problem or just bandaid-ed it.

I do believe that his staff insulates him from bad news, poor polling, and all the irritations that CEOs in the private sector must deal with every day. They haven’t done him any favors by coddling him, in fact they have set him up for a great comeuppance.
Letting him be the “last to know” makes him look foolish, uninvolved, and uncaring, and not like a busy executive too important to deal with the little stuff.

Star May 27, 2014 at 12:41 pm

I have sort of a variant on this–I think he knows and keeps mum until he HAS to say something…and then it’s the limp stuff–we just found out from Marvel Comics…etc.

AFVet May 27, 2014 at 1:00 pm

I tend to agree with you Star,….just like he disappeared during the Benghazi attack.

AFVet May 27, 2014 at 12:56 pm

Well said srdem !

Jimbo May 30, 2014 at 1:01 pm

0blamea exhibits ALL the characteristics of an incompetent, leader.

We could expect little more from an arrogant, amateur narcissistic Chicago thug Alinsky community organizer with no business, management, military or leadership experience, whose “foreign relations” expertise was touted as a 10 year old Muslim student in Indonesia…

Be kind to Little barry… after all, it is his first job.

srdem65 May 27, 2014 at 12:48 pm

OT: sorry
the news is that MrO decided to keep 9800 troops in Afganistan after the end of this year.
He campaigned with the promise that he would bring home every soldier by the end of this year, so the war will be over he claimed, and he lied.
Another lie, another broken promise, and the MSM is silent.

AFVet May 27, 2014 at 1:04 pm

FOX News just reported it over the radio.

Brando May 27, 2014 at 12:50 pm

The Limbaugh Theorem.

Brando May 27, 2014 at 12:58 pm

“In politics NOTHING happens by accident. If it happens, you can bet it was PLANNED that way” – FDR

Junius May 27, 2014 at 1:47 pm

I would like to propose a Step Six: Impeachment and Imprisonment

The Business May 27, 2014 at 5:36 pm

iiiiii wiiiiish!!!

Anonna May 27, 2014 at 4:18 pm

Step 6: “Dude! That was two years ago!”

Marcus May 27, 2014 at 6:20 pm

And, of course, there is the tried and proven “I didn’t know about it until I read about it in the newspaper.” It turns out that Obama didn’t know he’d been in Afghanistan until he read about the trip in the newspaper Monday morning. Boy, was he surprised. He’ll get to the bottom of that story real soon, you betcha.

Jimbo May 30, 2014 at 12:54 pm

Suggest adding to step 5 – “That’s old news. No one is interested in it.”

Deny, Divert, Deceive, Demagogue – the 4 Ds of democrat/libprog strategy…

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