The Fox News booth in the basement of the White House press room is under siege, with multiple, apparently fearless – and possibly Socialist – mice taking up residence in the area and crawling up the walls and across keyboards.
The mice, according to informed sources, materialize during daytime and appear to be unfazed by the presence of Fox News producers and correspondents with mousecide on their minds. Nor do the rodents – described as small, grey, and fast – appear the least bit interested in mousetraps that have been set around the booth.
More than one mouse is involved, as two were seen crawling on a wall at the same time, suggesting a possible conspiracy.
Suspiciously, the CNN booth, which is right next to Fox’s, has not had its defenses breached by a single mouse, prompting questions among veteran, unserious reporters about whether White House Press Secretary Jay Carney is indoctrinating mice to despise free markets and releasing them late at night in the Fox booth.
Understandably rattled Fox News reporters summoned White House officials to the basement this afternoon for urgent consultations, receiving soothing assurances that the toughest anti-mouse measures possible will be implemented expeditiously.
White House sources say a ban on swiss cheese is not at in the “toolbox” of measures under consideration, though sanctions freezing the U.S. accounts of any mice that can be identified and a controlled release of hungry, feral cats are possibilities.
Okay, that last paragraph’s not true.
Fox Senior White House Reporter Ed Henry this afternoon tweeted out in frustration.
Henry kindly allowed White House Dossier to snap this shot of him attempting to get some work done just moments after a mouse sighting. A mousetrap sits undisturbed to Henry’s left on the floor.
Below is the hallway in the basement, where mice have also been spotted. The CNN and Fox news booths are down the hall and to the left.
NOTE: This mouse is not under suspicion of having participated in the raid on the Fox News booth.
White House Dossier will update its readers if there are further developments and will report promptly on any casualties.