Adding to the shock that the negotiations over Iran’s nuclear weapons program broke down is the discovery of the tempting concessions offered by the United States to try to get Iran to agree to a deal.
A frustrated member of the U.S. delegation, spotted by White House Dossier at a Washington Starbucks, gave in to our repeated requests for the list, exclaiming, Here just take it! Take it!
We agreed not to publish it but later changed our mind, and so we provide for you here the top ten concessions offered by the U.S. to Iran.
10. Iran may continue to enrich uranium but only in the sense of giving it interesting things to read.
9. U.S. won’t acknowledge it is the “Great Satan,” but agrees to be labeled the “Pretty Good Satan.”
8. Each of Iran’s top twelve Ayatollahs to receive a good twerking from a twerker to be named later.
7. Iran given his beautiful lounge suite:
6. U.S. will fix it so that Iran is guaranteed to win the annual International Couscous Cook Off in Tripoli early next year.
5. Frommer’s must name the Holiday Inn Tehran as one of the 2014 “World’s Top Ten Vacation Destinations.”
4. Free Chinese takeout for the entire nation of Iran for a year. Delivery is extra and requires a tip.
3. U.S. officials must refer to Supreme Leader Ali Khamenei as “His Hotness.”
2. Billy Joel and Elton John to perform free concert at Iran’s massive Mullahdome. Elton agrees to dedicate “Your Song” to Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.
1. Netanhayu’s head to be delivered on a silver platter.
Are there any that you are aware of?